September 8, 2008

A Word About H-P.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 8:09 pm

The title promised you one word about H-P, so here it is:

SATAN

Truth is, I have more than one word to say about H-P, and that is Do Not Buy an H-P Computer!

I first told you here about my problem with my out-of-warranty (by about a month***), very expensive computer.. Stripped of detail, the story is that the computer would not start Windows. I updated the sad tale, here and here, which culminated in my sending the computer back to H-P for a $300+ repair.

A short bit of back-story. When I [Mike, my computer maven buddy], was talking online with the disembodied computer geek at H-P, he advised him that he [I] would be sending the computer minus the hard drive, the disembodied computer geek said, “No, you must send the hard drive.”

I [Mike] responded, “OK, but do not fool with the hard drive.”

The disembodied computer geek said, “I will mark the repair ticket ‘Do not reconfigure hard drive.’”

Fast forward.

The computer was returned, and apparently, it now starts Windows, but guess what.

Yes, the hard drive was “re-imaged.” In non-Geekspeak, that means, “We don’t give a fat rat’s ass what we told you, we will wipe your hard drive clean, because we CAN.”

Initially I figured, “No problem, I have an external drive tee’d up to back everyfarookin’ thing up.”

I have since learned that the external drive did not do what it’s supposed to do, and I’ve lost every file that was placed in the computer for the last year or so. It apparently saved the stuff from my old computer, but the daily backups, even thought they showed up on my screen, didn’t happen.

Now, once I fire up the Raptor (I’m still using a borrowed machine), I will have to place myself in a “Wayback” Machine in order to reconstruct my files.

If you are inclined to tell me what I should have done, please spare me. I relied on the expertise of the goddamned computer manufacturer and its promise not to screw around with the hard drive, and I was HOSED. (Mike was adamant about shipping the unit sans hard drive).

So, a few things:

If you don’t hear from me, it may well be that I no longer have your e-mail, your phone number, or your snail mail address.

If I blog a bit less, it is because I’m taxing my memory to update lost goddamned files.

If you’ve stayed with me this long, I want to impress upon you one thing. DO NOT BUY AN H-P COMPUTER. If you feel the urge to buy one, have a cocktail and buy something else.

Oh, and if anyone from H-P happens to be reading this, how’s about you kiss my ample New Jersey ass!

That is all.

*** Actually, the computer was running less than the warranty period, as the components sat in my house for damned near a month in the boxes owing to a family health problem unfolding at that time. We mentioned this to H-P, but it did not matter. I understand. Rules are rules. But, damn!

August 2, 2008

Cruisin’ With the Usuals.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 12:51 pm

Actually, Mike, the computer maven, will have the Raptor for an entire week, as tomorrow The Usual Suspects will be in NYC to board the Norwegian Dawn for a seven-day cruise to Bermuda. We’ve done five or six cruises to Bermuda already, but this will be the our first “Freestyle” cruise – supposedly more casual with lots of dining choices. I’ll be skipping the sushi restaurant.

There are something like eleven bars on the ship. Yo ho ho!

Several excellent bloggers have keys to the place and they are invited to drop a turd or two into the punchbowl here while I am on the high seas.

Oh, and in preparation for our excellent adventure, Ken, my bodyguard and I (and one other of the male Usual Suspects) went for a manicure AND a pedicure.

Discuss.

Computer Update.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 12:36 pm

I am doing this post from a borrowed computer (a laptop) and working with the annoying non-mouse. I can either use that little annoying nipple in the center of the keyboard (a bit like drunk driving) or the finger slidey thing at the bottom of the keyboard. I hate them both. Yeah, I know. I could hook up my mouse, but I’ve already plugged and unplugged enough stuff to give me an anxiety attack, so I’ll go with the nipple and the slidey for now.

So, Jimbo. What’s with the Raptor?

Damned if I know. My friend Mike, the computer maven, had it going, but it still decides to shut itself off and then announce that Windows cannot start. He took it home to see if he could figure out what the problem is. If he can’t figure it out, I guess it’s off to the H-P “authorized” repair place. Of course, the warranty ran out about a month ago.

So, that’s the story. In a nutshell, as they say.

October 9, 2007

Lectricity.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 6:42 pm

The electrician didn’t make it yesterday, but after having had a couple three vodkas while waiting, it was time for Mr. Recliner.

He is here now, so I am going to shut the Raptor down, lest it be surprised by a sudden power loss. I am very careful when it comes to the Raptor. Besides, I may decide to change guitar strings instead of blogging.

October 8, 2007

Waiting ……..

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 6:18 pm

At this moment, I am waiting for an electrician I know to come to the House by the Parkway to do some stuff, which will require shutting off circuit breakers that power up the Raptor and its many dazzling accessories. Hence, while I have a vodka or two whilst waiting, I figure that alone will result in a fair chance that I won’t spend much time at the keys this evening.

Later……..maybe.

August 23, 2007

New Gadget.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 8:23 pm

I have a new gadget. I thought I’d share.

One of the side benefits that came along with getting my new computer (Mr. Raptor) and my newfound Geekage was that I could actually take my fancy-schmancy 80 Gig iPod out of the box (It was an October giftie) and begin the process of loading in a gazillion CDs (Mr. Steam-Driven Computer didn’t have the horsepower to do iPod).

Seeing as how I’m afraid to use Mr. iPod while walking in the morning (I have to be alert for the sounds of killer cars), I wasn’t quite sure what to do with it. I figure that driving with the “ear buds” (God, I’m so farookin’ hip now) stuck in my ears might well turn the Big, Fat, Black Capitalist Car into a Killer Car, which would be a bad thing.

It occurred to me that it would be really neat to have one of those docking things, particularly one that I would be able to take outside on the deck. I could also use it in the rooms where the bigass stereo isn’t.

I decided on this unit. There were lots to choose from, but the thing that caught my eye about this one was that it was heavy (approximately 14 pounds). To me, after having spent decades lugging bigass sound system speakers around, I’ve come to learn that real speakers = heavy.

My review of the gadget is quite simple. I like it a lot. I am more than a bit of a pain in the ass when it comes to fidelity, and I know that this widget can never sound like a serious sound system, but given its size, weight, portability and ease of operation, this one is a winner. It has two controls on the box – a plus and a minus, which serve as the volume control. There is also a teensy weensy remote that allows you to fool with more of its functions.

In sum, if you want something that sounds good and is a piece of cake for a techno-doofus, I highly recommend it.

August 2, 2007

Cyber-Mysteries.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 9:52 pm

Turns out, I now have internet service. WTF?

First, I would like to thank the Wiseass Jooette for posting the PSA. She may be from Brooklyn (the Godforsaken Place), but she’s good peeps for helping out a fellow Blown-Eye.

DISCLAIMER: Anything in the previous paragraph to the contrary notwithstanding, the author reserves any and all rights in future posts to assert that Brooklyn is a shithole and that the Jooette is indeed a Wiseass. Further, nothing contained in the previous paragraph shall operate, by way of estoppel or otherwise, to prevent or limit in any way the author from making such future statements.

Here’s the deal.

As of this morning, I had zero internet connection. Of course, I freaked. Instant sweats, big time. I’ve been there before when it took TEN DAYS for Comcast to send someone over to swap out a dead modem. That wait was followed by a nastygram to the President of Comcast, which, in turn, resulted in some free internet service.

Still, this time I didn’t want free internet service; I just wanted INTERNET SERVICE, dammit.

I checked Mr. Modem. It was blinking away just as it should. I decided to use the handy on/off switch to turn it off and then on again.

No lights, some lights, (the modem is getting its shit together), then all the lights. It was blinking just right.

Problem – still no internet connection.

More sweat.

Check connections. Lots of spaghetti back there, but the wires were cool.

Move modem to check the back connections.

LIGHTS ON MODEM GO OFF!!! Holy shit!

Call Comcast, NOW, because Mr. Modem is as dead as Jacob Marley.

Comcast answers with a recording

I press “1” for English (I fume).

I press “”2” for “Internet Service” as opposed to Cable TV.

Recorded voice tells me that I have to be looking at the computer (I was), then it tells me to say shit into the phone.

Recorded voice: “Do you see a red thing anywhere on your screen saying ‘re-install Comcast software?”

Me: “NO.”

Recorded Voice: “Did you say no?”

Me: “YES, I said “NO.” (I’m thinking this YES-NO business is an Alice in Wonderland experience)

Recorded Voice: “Are you doing a new installation?”

Me: “NO.” (I could have sworn Ms. Recordovoice had already asked me this)

Recorded Voice: “Have you unplugged and re-plugged your modem?”

Me: “Wait!”

Recorded Voice: (apparently waiting)

I freaked and hung up the phone. Realizing that I had used the on/off switch and had not actually unplugged the thing, I looked again at the dead unit and thought, “Plug? What plug?” At that point, I saw that the little round AC/DC thing in the back of the modem had become unplugged while I was checking out the back of the modem.

“Ah ha!” I thought. I plugged it in, and the lights on the modem did their predictable thing.

Yes! The lights were blinking just fine (although the plug in the back of the modem is EXTREMELY touchy. If you touch it just a LEETLE, the modem goes off. Still, the lights were on, and they were blinking just right. I figured I was good to go.

WRONG.

Still no internet connection.

Knowing that getting internet connection, albeit critical, is not as important as making a living, I bailed on the problem. I spent the rest of the day wallowing in self-pity, knowing that I would have to deal with Comcast after work.

From work, I got in touch with the aforementioned Wiseass Jooette and requested her assistance in letting the “sphere (at least, my miniscule corner of same) know that I had been again COMCASTRATED. She graciously agreed, and even did so without saying anything bad about New Jersey. I gather she sensed my deepening depression.

I came home fully ready (as ready as one can ever be) to call Comcast. I was prepared for another long internetless spell.

Mr. Modem was still blinking favorably, so, for the hell of it, I fired up the Raptor and pushed the “internet” button.

And, here I am.

Thank you, Comcast, for scaring the dogshit out of me.

P.S. I stuck the modem with the mondo fickle connection out of harm’s way, and if I happen to eat beans I will be sure to turn away from the modem.

A PSA From The Wiseass Jooette

Filed under: Uncategorized — Erica @ 6:00 pm

Yo, peeps. Wiseass Jooette here.

A PSA I was asked to share with all of youse, Jimbo’s loyal readers. There is a slight possibility that our TTTB pal, Hairboy, might not be able to connect to the Internet this evening due to unfortunate Comcastic issues, which sucks mondo ’roids, because that may impact a post he was all set to publish this evening. Bummers. I was looking forward to reading it.

Had he told me about this, say, yesterday, I would have had a little more time to slap together my Photoshop masterpiece of his GFHâ„¢ on the heads of all the presidents on Mount Rushmore, a totally bril idea suggested to me by Randy Randy Fo-Fandy, the Secular Franciscan. It is definitely in the works, though. Stay tuned for that.

You’d think, once he upgraded to Mr. Raptor from Mr. Steam-Driven Computer, all would be just ducky in Cybersville for he of the House by the Parkway, but no such luck.

OTOH, there is a chance he will be able to connect, in which case, just ignore this. If not, however, should any of you fine peeps stumble across a Magic Lamp in the sand this evening, please, be generous with your three wishes and delegate at least one for the immediate rectification of his modem issues, because a day without a Parkway Rest Stop post is a day without a beautiful sunrise.

In the meantime, check out this old PRS post, which cracked my Brooklyn Jooette ass up when I first read it. I figure it was worth resurrecting in the event of major catastrophe we don’t get any sweet Jimbo lovin’ tonight.

Keep your fingers crossed, OK?

July 21, 2007

Multi-Tasking Jimbo.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 9:29 pm

My buddy Mike the computer mavin and savior of my sanity stopped by the House on the Parkway to finish fitting out the Raptor. Yowza! Unlike my steam-driven computer, this one can do lots of things real fast and all at the same time. In short, it can multi-task way better than I can.

Still, I am giving it (and myself) a bit of a trial run. As I am writing this, I am downloading a bunch of CDs to my iPod. All Beatles at the moment. Yeah, Yeah, Yeah.

I feel a bit like a supersonic plate spinner.

July 14, 2007

Notes from the Cockpit.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 8:55 pm

Yes, peeps, I am strapped into this supersonic unit, which is capable of zipping along at something like Mach 3. I am nowhere near at full throttle, because so many of the controls are so different from the Sopwith Camel I have been flying.

It’s construction too considerably longer than I/we had expected, owing in part to the annoying problems with transferring stuff from the steam-driven unit to this one. Fortunately, my buddy Mike, the Computer Mavin saw to it that the problems, although annoying, were not insurmountable. There is still a bit of data moving to do, as the goal is to duplicate all the stuff from the Sopwith and tuck it safely away in one of nooks and crannies of the Raptor to be available if needed.

We encountered one other slight problem, which was that one of the only two things I purchased without consulting Mike turned out to be wrong. I bought a Logitech keyboard, and it turns out to have the old fashioned roundish plug thing (a technical term), instead of the new kind (another technical term) of plug thing. This means that, until I pick up a new keyboard (with the right shaped plug thing) I will be typing on the laptop itself, which is a challenge for these flying fingers. The good news is that the Logitech mouse I picked out is connected, so I don’t have to use the touch pad thing, which would make me farookin’ crazy,

But, damn, this is one sexy ride. The clarity of the images on the 17” laptop monitor is exceeded only by those on the 19” flat screen. I am taken by how much I have been missing, image wise, for all this time. For instance, Dogette of Two Nervous Dogs, will no longer have to draw brightly colored outlines around images of her dog so that I can distinguish the figure from the ground.

Yo, check this out. I even plugged in my iPod, which I have had for months but have been unable to use with the Sopwith Camel. Of course, I had no idea how to work the thing. I also learned that my e-mails were not escaping Outlook. Oy!
Fortunately, TJ and Mr. Surly came by for a visit, and she got my e-mail straightened out and also gave me a most excellent iPod lesson. Sah-WEET!!!!!

Today, iPodding, tomorrow (figuratively) Podcasting. Hey, it could happen.

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