A couple weeks ago, I wrote about a small bridal shop in town that had a hand-lettered sign in the window that said, “Shoe Only $10.00.” I can only assume that the shopkeeper managed to sell the shoe, or that he or she gave up trying, because yesterday I noticed that the “Shoe” sign had been replaced with a new hand-lettered sign that reads:
Bridesmates?
I originally thought that the storekeeper might have a stable of men she was offering to sell to brides who were, as they say, “left at the altar,” or women who desire a mate, but are too busy/shy/crazy/homely/slovenly to find one in a more conventional way.
“Kinda tacky,” I thought.
It then dawned on me that I am just not hip to creative weddings, and that the shop might well be selling people to participate in nautical weddings. These days, couples are increasingly choosing exotic sites for weddings, so I’m certain that some of them are opting to get married at sea.
Given that the price of a bridesmate “start” at $119, I assume that for the sale price a bride gets only a run-of-the-mill bridesmate, and that a really salty one goes for considerably more, but I’m just guessing.
Having sorted out the bridesmate thing, I remain perplexed about the idea of selling a “mother.” It is, I think, safe to assume that the $119 figure does not apply to the mother, as there is only one of them for sale, and, as such, the “start” price doesn’t make much sense. I do not know the exact price for the mother, but given that she is part of the ad, I assume that she is also on sale.
It is always sad when a bride’s mother is unable, through death or illness, to see her daughter get married, but I wonder whether a motherless bride would have much interest in buying a mother, even at a sale price.
I truly believe that I scooped the local newspaper on this important story. I’ll keep you posted.
Bridesmates $119? Do they have a circular ad you can send me? Any pictures available? Possibly a webpage?
Being a professional shopper I'm going to need to SEE the merchandise. But, that is a pretty good price. ;) How's their warranty? Return policy?
Posted by: Tammi at June 29, 2004 09:32 PMTammi,
My guess is that for $119 you get a bridesmate in "as is" condition.
Posted by: Jim - Parkway Rest Stop at June 29, 2004 09:45 PMUm, considering the linguistic challenges apparent here, isn't it possible that the intention was to sell brides mates (as in husbands)? After all, it *is* (though not for long, I suspect) a BRIDAL shop...
:-)
D,
Interesting....Husbands for sale. I didn't think of that. I guess the $119 special might well be Joey Buttafucco.
Posted by: Jim - Parkway Rest Stop at June 29, 2004 10:50 PMThey need to advertise for a proofreader or maybe even an Advertising Manager. I submit that YOU would be great for this part-time (and possibly lucrative) work, especially since you are in the area anyway and have an eye for it.
Advertise Manger: $10.00
Advertise Merger: $119
Prof. Reader: $10.00
Smartass Dawg in Comments to Parka Fresh Stop WebBlock: .02
Why couldn't my daughter pick such an interesting shop? But no. I had to spend 2 hrs. at a regular boring bridal shop Saturday while she tried on an endless number of gowns. My only amusement was watching the countless brides-to-be try on white gowns while their numerous toddlers played in front of the mirrors.
The irony of that seemed to escape them.
Posted by: Rita at June 30, 2004 08:02 AMRita,
Good thing you didn't go there with your daughter. As a mother, you might have ended up with a "Sale" sign around your neck.
Posted by: Jim - Parkway Rest Stop at June 30, 2004 09:16 AMMy prediction for next week's sign:
GOING OUT
BUSINESS SALE
ALL SHOE $10
ALL DRESS $99
Posted by: Lynne at June 30, 2004 11:20 AMOops, I thought that was the price for a Bride Mate (groom).
Like I said, a pretty good price, providing I can get a good ROI.
Posted by: Tammi at June 30, 2004 12:29 PMY'all are killing me here. ROFLMAO!!! Thanks, it's just what I needed today.
Oh, I just thought of something - considering how expensive weddings are (my daughter got married last year), it seems to me you could just stop the entire spending spree in its tracks - just don't buy the Mate. No Mate, no Wedding, no Expense. Hmmmm - why didn't I know about this last year!
Posted by: Teresa at June 30, 2004 03:54 PMI've just hit on the solution to the conundrum of the 'mother' line: they're telling everyone that it's a 'mother' of an deal!