Major Appliance$.
I’m back on the case. I had traveled to the future House By The Parkway as part of the Advance Team to do things like open bank accounts and buy MAJOR appliances. I did manage go find a glomable wireless signal, but I was too tired and worn out from being in MAJOR appliance departments of various stores to write anything.
Speaking of MAJOR appliances, when was the last time you had to buy those things? Holy cannoli, the price of the MAJOR appliances we bought (the fancy schmancy stuff, naturally) rivals the gross national product of many small countries.
I learned much. For example, consider that “counter depth†refrigerators, by definition, are smaller than “bigger-than-counter-depth†refrigerators. Logic would seem to dictate that “smaller†would be cheaper than “largerâ€. Wrong! The world of MAJOR appliances is nuanced.
I also learned that today’s fancy schmancy clothes dryers do more than simply dry wet clothes. They allow you to have steam blown into your already-dry clothes. WTF? I wonder how I ever managed to get to be this age without knowing the joy and critical importance of occasionally having steam blown into my farookin’ clothes?
Well, now I’m back at the current House By the Parkway with my old refrigerator, the freezer portion of which currently contains:
A bottle of Iceberg Vodka
A bottle of Three Olives Chocolate Vodka
A bottle of Three Olives Triple Shot Espresso Vodka
A bottle of Three Olives Orange Vodka (great with seltzer and lemon)
A bottle of Schmirnoff Orange Vodka (in case I run out of Three Olives Orange)
A bottle of Firefly Sweet Tea Vodka
A bottle of Firefly Sweet Tea Peach Vodka
A bottle of Firefly Sweet Tea Raspberry Vodka
A bottle of Firefly Sweet Tea Mint Vodka
I think I saw a box of frozen string beans in there somewhere.
I love my freezer.
Can you move that much booze without a permit and escort?
Comment by James Old Guy — January 7, 2010 @ 7:12 pm
Okay, you’ve got a future HbtP, and MAJOR appliances. But most important of all, do you know where the nearest Big Liquor Store is?
Comment by Dave Merriman — January 8, 2010 @ 12:20 am
My house is nearly 14 years old which means we are having to replace an appliance about every year. As of now, I’m getting by with some repairs, although I have had to replace both the stove and the dishwasher. I’m dreading the day my fridge goes. I may have to take out a home loan for that one…
Comment by Bou — January 8, 2010 @ 12:38 am
A bottle of Iceberg Vodka
A bottle of Three Olives Chocolate Vodka
A bottle of Three Olives Triple Shot Espresso Vodka
A bottle of Three Olives Orange Vodka (great with seltzer and lemon)
A bottle of Schmirnoff Orange Vodka (in case I run out of Three Olives Orange)
A bottle of Firefly Sweet Tea Vodka
A bottle of Firefly Sweet Tea Peach Vodka
A bottle of Firefly Sweet Tea Raspberry Vodka
A bottle of Firefly Sweet Tea Mint Vodka
——————————————–
Yep, you got all the major food groups, Jimbo!
Comment by Jerry in Indiana — January 8, 2010 @ 1:57 am
Jim, i think i’m going to move in with you and carol and go on a liquid diet. that’ll work
Comment by Adie — January 8, 2010 @ 7:29 am
Now, I’m sensing a theme here and I think I could connect these dots…but I bet you Napolitano still couldn’t.
Comment by Mr. Bingley — January 8, 2010 @ 7:38 am
seriously. our last refrigerator, with an automatic ice maker, cost us less than $600.00 (alright, it was twenty five years ago, but it lasted that long, we only got rid of it for cosmetic reasons, it still worked fine). The new one, which holds less, still has only an internal ice maker, no other upgrades other than French doors and a bottom freezer, cost us $1600.00. On sale. 30% off. We’re thinking of buying an apartment size box for our utility room to hold extra food and beverages. I don’t get it.
Comment by gregor — January 8, 2010 @ 8:54 am
Bingley,
That’s the freezer stuff. You should get a load of Mr. Closet.
Hey, some peeps collect farookin’ stamps.
Jimbo
Comment by Jim — January 8, 2010 @ 9:03 am
Where can you buy Major appliances stocked thusly, inquirering minds want to know?
Comment by Bill G — January 8, 2010 @ 10:40 am
I like the contents of your freezer too!
Comment by Maeve — January 8, 2010 @ 7:50 pm
I gave Firefly to all my friends for Christmas. That’s some good stuff.
Comment by Laura — January 8, 2010 @ 8:40 pm
…. good god, man…..
Comment by Eric — January 8, 2010 @ 10:13 pm
If my husband continues to be gainfully employed, we will be attempting to replace the horrid cooktop and oven in our kitchen. This will cost us the entire gross national product of 3 small countries because we will have to have cabinet work and counter work done. Might be cheaper to sell the place and move… geeze.
As for the contents of the freezer – I see you are a very discerning shopper. Good job!
Comment by Teresa — January 10, 2010 @ 1:07 am
The frozen string beans must interview someone in the news at some point.
Comment by dogette — January 10, 2010 @ 6:36 pm
Sounds like you need a fridge w/ a wodka dispenser. Wonder what one of those would cost.
Comment by Dan O — January 11, 2010 @ 1:14 pm