Bo’s Diary (Vol 3).
DOGGY THOUGHTS FROM BO, THE PRESIDENTIAL POOCH.
Yeah, I know it’s been a long time (even in people years) since I’ve updated my diary, but life hasn’t been easy here at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. In fact, I’m writing this from an undisclosed location somewhere in the residence.
I’m hiding out after having scrambled away from a barrage of Bigfoot’s shoes. One of those size -12 units caught me on the side of the head, but I think I’ll be OK. She was pissed when she saw that I had found her stash of Twinkies and helped myself to a few. Still, it wasn’t as bad as the time I ate one of her hidden triple-decker bacon sandwiches. That day she came after me with a baseball bat. Good thing for me that the Secret Service Guys thought she was going after Himself with the Louisville Slugger and tackled her.
Speaking of Himself, he’s as every bit as rotten as she is. When he’s in the house (on the rare non-golf days), all he wants to do is sit around in his shorts and watch basketball games on television. The hard and fast rule around here is that no one is to bother Himself while he is watching a basketball game. One time I really had to take a crap. It had gotten to the point of either bothering Himself while he stared into the TV, or shitting on the carpet (The last time I shit on the carpet, the Secret Service guys saved me from certain death at the hands of the two First Lunatics). So, I walked into the room and did some serious barking. Hinself went positively nuts. He flung one of his flip-flops at my head and screeched, “Goddammit! Someone get in here and get this f**king mutt out of my sight!â€
I swear, if the Secret Service guys and the people in the press didn’t call me “Bo,†I would think my name was “This F**king Mutt.â€
It ain’t easy being the First Dog.
Damn! Bigfoot found me! She’s swinging the baseball bat again. Gotta run.
Later, Peeps.
Haha! Thank you, Jimbo for easing the stress of my day with your never-failing sense of humor. Rich!
Comment by Lee — April 10, 2012 @ 11:00 pm
Ha! Poor little Bo!
I need to learn how to use those star thingys instead of actually spelling out bad words. :o)
Comment by Joan of Argghh! — April 11, 2012 @ 2:00 pm
Bloody funny stuff!
Comment by Kevin — April 11, 2012 @ 5:49 pm
You should write comedy!
Comment by Kevin — April 12, 2012 @ 7:07 pm
bo
what’s up dog? now that the cat is out of the bag, feeling a little nervous?
Comment by reddecaesari — April 19, 2012 @ 12:11 am
Oh, these are awesome – my only complaint, just too short, please, MORE, MORE, MORE! You just might keep us sane with this insane stuff!
Comment by Patricia — April 19, 2012 @ 4:23 am
I can’t wait to find out what Bo thinks about the Dog-Eater-in-Chief.
Comment by Rlynh — April 19, 2012 @ 10:25 am
Bo, there are a lot of us worrying for your welfare after the breaking news of the past couple of days. We may need to spring you before November for your own well being!!
Comment by UpNorthLurkin — April 19, 2012 @ 11:49 am
The world awaits you, Jim and Bo. Carry on.
Comment by creeper — April 19, 2012 @ 8:37 pm