February 24, 2005

Texas Trooper.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 8:42 pm

I actually had a bit of content that I thought might work, but it just wasn’t writing right. You know how that is, I’m sure. So it became a choice between trying to do radical surgery on content that was, at best, in guarded condition, or having a few cocktails and watching a movie. Cocktails and a movie won.

However, I did receive a joke in my e-mail from my friend Bill from Missouri, a Navy Vet, that I thought was pretty funny. I’ll dedicate this one to Dash, who lives in the Lone Star State.


Two men were driving through Texas when they got pulled over by a State Trooper. The cop walked up and tapped on the window with his nightstick. The driver rolled down the window and WHACK, the cop smacked him in the head with his nightstick.
“What the hell was that for?” the driver asked.

“You’re in Texas, son,” the trooper answered. “When we pull you over in Texas, you better have your license ready by the time we get to your car.”
“I’m sorry, officer,” the driver said, “I’m not from around here.”

The trooper runs a check on the guy’s license–he’s clean and gives the guy his license back. The trooper then walks around to the passenger side and taps on the window. The passenger rolls down the window and”WHACK”, the trooper smacks him on the head with the nightstick.

“What’d you do that for?” the passenger demands.
“Just making your wish come true,” replied the trooper.

“Making WHAT wish come true?” the passenger asked.

“Because I know your type,” the trooper says, “two miles down the road you’re gonna turn to your buddy and say, ‘I wish that asshole would’ve tried that shit with me!’


  1. Hehe, that sounds about right.

    Comment by Evilwhiteguy — February 24, 2005 @ 9:21 pm

  2. That’s a good one, Jim. Thanks for the dedication. Don’t even ask about the breathalizer they administer to the women.

    Comment by Dash — February 24, 2005 @ 9:32 pm

  3. Even More Googly Goodness

    Other things I’m #1 for…

    Trackback by Evilwhiteguy's Blog — February 25, 2005 @ 3:43 am

  4. Well, when it comes to Texas troopers, SF author and computerist/animator, Daniel Keyes Moran tells the story of how he received a speeding ticket in west Texas on his way home (California) after attending the World Science Fiction Convention (which was in San Antonio that year).

    Basically, he was driving along at his habitual high rate of speed (in excess of 90mph) when a state trooper pulled him over. Given that west Texas road tend to be flat and what little ground cover there is isn’t much at all, where could he have been hiding? I mean in west Texas the visibility can go on for miles…

    Answer, he’d positioned himself beyond a slight rise in such a fashion that his vehicle was hidden by the mirage of heat waves coming off the black top down range.

    “I went into lots of fights by myself, and I came out by myself, too!” – Captain Manuel T. “Lone Wolf” Gonzaullas of the Texas Rangers

    King Louis: “What are we going to do today, M. Cardinal?”

    Cardinal: “Same thing we do every day, Your Majesty? Try to take over the world!”

    Comment by David — February 25, 2005 @ 5:13 am

  5. hmmm – my ex & I were pulled over by a NJ state trooper. Who claimed that he stopped us because the rear of the pickup looked low. He went through everything, including my backpack, and the cubbyholes on the doors. Then he had us open the camper shell. My two Alaskan malamutes for some strange reason didn’t bark or attack as they usually did. Then he proceeded to have us open the plastic garbage can so he could inspect their dry dog food. He finally decided that we weren’t whatever he though that we were and sent us on our way. But not before making my ex remove the air freshener from the rear view mirror. It was a tiny rebel flag. Doesn’t every Puerto Rican from NYC have one? Anyhow, the trooper said that anything hanging from the mirror was illegal. To this day, I still have no idea why we were pulled over, but I will say – it was no joke…

    Comment by moos — February 25, 2005 @ 7:18 am

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