June 22, 2005

Techno-Ziggy.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 9:14 pm

ziggy.jpgI’m sure you all know Ziggy, the cartoon character who seems to have a perpetual black cloud over his head. You may call me Techno Ziggy.

As you know, I live in fear of fooling with Mr. Template, or anything that has the word “config” in it. I wonldn’t go near an SQL, even if I knew what it was. I am battle scarred from tangling ass with Mr. Laptop.

Still, I keep trying.

I got the message from Symantec informing me that my anti-virus software is about to expire.

I read the message with dread, as I sensed the dark cloud already beginning to form. Knowing that this was a task I could not ignore, lest my computer become completely devoured by viruses, I followed the links. In so doing, I learned that I could “renew” my current subscription, but that my current version (2002) is considered a cyber-relic not worthy of ownership (and not “supported” – I loathe that word). Clearly what I needed was the souped-up 2005 version.

I noted that the “cloudette” was beginning to become a genuine cloud.

I followed all the links, provided all the requested information, choosing the “download” version. I printed all my confirmations, and now it was time to click the “download” button and watch the magic happen. I stared at it for a while, hoping against hope that everything would work out fine. I took the plunge.

“Click”

The download window appeared and, in short order, did nothing – zero, zilch. The damnable thing just sat there in freeze mode only to be followed by one of those really scary “error” windows. The instructions advised that I should feel free to try again (Thanks a bunch), which I did. I held my breath and again pushed the button that now mocked me by calling itself “Download.”

“Click”

NOTHING. Nothing, that is, but the same lifeless download window appeared, only to stare at me in hateful defiance and download nothing. Abso-farookin’-lutely NOTHING.

The cloud has now fully formed and is getting ugly.

Seeing as how I had just paid for “support” (Did I mention that I loathe that word?), I called the Customer Service number and was connected to a nice fellow with a Canadian accent. I explained the problem, and he had me look in my current files under “Norton.” I did that, and confirmed that the only Norton anti-virus software that is on my machine is the current version (i.e the one I’ve been using). Call me a smartass, but I believe that all that exercise accomplished was to confirm that the software I just bought and which I could not download was not on my machine. Gadzooks! Imagine that?

I stupidly thought that confirming a non-download would be the stepping-off point for solving my problem. However, the nice fellow said, “I’m afraid that there’s nothing I can do for you other than to change your order to the disc set, which you can install locally.” (I’m sure I’ve mentioned how much a truly loathe the word “support”). Feeling like I did in calculus class decades ago when I was too lost to even ask a question, I simply sighed and replied, “Sure.”

The ferocious dark cloud just emptied its contents on me.

My order was duly changed, and in three to five working days, I will receive a box via UPS containing the necessary disc and instructions.

At that time, the cloud will again form, I will speak again with a nice fellow for “support,” and I will end up with a computer that is a virus magnet.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll tell you about my call the other day to Comcast about my Television cable service. Right now, I’ve got to get out of these wet clothes.

10 Comments »

  1. “. . . time to click the ‘download’ button and watch the magic happen.”

    That’s Mr. Download Button from now on, I think. ;)

    Comment by dogette — June 22, 2005 @ 10:02 pm

  2. AVG antivirus. It’s free for personal use, doesn’t expire, updates itself automagically, and works REAL GOOD. http://www.grisoft.com
    It’s what I used when I ran a Windows box, if that counts for anything.

    Comment by DMerriman — June 22, 2005 @ 10:12 pm

  3. Ah yes…for only $20 more than the renewal fee you can upgrade to Norton 2005. Glad to see someone else fell for that trick. After a week of tech support I was able to get Norton running, but now my home network doesn’t work. Been trying to fix that for three months. Good Luck!

    Comment by Barry — June 22, 2005 @ 10:22 pm

  4. Those tough life decisions

    Dear TJ, I know your dad has been having a lot of problems lately. You’ve done your best to help but I think the evidence is clear….it’s time he went someplace where he can receive the care he needs… THE

    Trackback by Thunder And Roses — June 22, 2005 @ 11:30 pm

  5. I second AVG. I have used it for three years, no problems yet.

    Comment by Bill — June 23, 2005 @ 12:03 am

  6. I steal all of my software and have AVG pro, its better than Norton, Peter Norton sold out and when he had it, it was the greastest. Now several others are better, They have a free AVG 7.0 for downloading at CNNET

    Comment by Catfish — June 23, 2005 @ 1:28 am

  7. I see an Uncle Billy, “burned pork chops through the window” moment in your near future. All of this in the same week where you felt the need to come clean about your bathroom encounter with a half-naked member of the Village People.
    Anti-virus my a** . Look for the numbers 666 on your screen. This is all a part of a vast left-wing conspiracy orchestrated by Hillary Clinton. The goal is to get Republican voters mad enough for their heads to burst.
    Put on a Liza Minelli CD. It worked for Uncle Billy.

    Comment by cousin gary — June 23, 2005 @ 7:37 am

  8. Sorry, Jim. I’m not laughing at you…just with you. That sounds like it could have been written by me.

    Comment by Pammy — June 23, 2005 @ 12:04 pm

  9. One word of advice (several words, but one piece of advice) – when you go to load the new Nortons, uninstall the old version. They won’t tell you that in the instructions, but it is definitely something that needs to be done to have a chance at a smooth (and working) install!

    Comment by bogie — June 25, 2005 @ 6:48 am

  10. I got presented with the same ‘you must upgrade’ message from Norton.

    I dumped it for AVG.

    Which after a month decided to blow up my e-mail.

    So I switched to AntiVir which has given me no trouble in the 6 months I’ve been running it.

    Comment by aelfheld — July 2, 2005 @ 7:51 pm

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