Ever notice that umbrellas always seem to be at home or in the car whenever you are neither at home nor in the car and the farookin’ skies open?
Well, it rained torrents when it was time to leave work today. Of course, at the time, my umbrella was nice and dry at home on my front porch.
Obviously, I should have brought it with me, given the unambiguous and ominous weather reports that were on the radio and television last night and this morning. In the future, when mondo thunderstorms are predicted, a good place to put Mr. Umbrella is up my ass, right next to my head, which encases what little brain matter I have when it comes to weather reports and umbrellas.**
**Special thanks to Gail, who loaned me an extra umbrella she keeps at her desk. She said she keeps it in case she forgets hers, but I know better. She knows of my umbrella numbskullery.