September 23, 2005

Thank You, New York Times.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 8:08 pm

Compulsively picking at a scab, probing a chipped tooth with your tongue until it’s raw, peeling away at the necrotic epidermis spawned by sunburn, scratching an imaginary itch until your skin is raw — there is no explaining this form of self-mutilation to which many of us, including Yours Truly, sometimes succumb.

One of the more ugly forms of this malady is that nagging urge to click on the New York Times online ravings of the likes of Maureen Dowd, Paul Krugman or Frank Rich. I do it more often than I care to admit, each time feeling angry with myself, much as if I had slowed down to gawk at a gruesome traffic accident.

As of today, The Times has taken a step that will go a long way to allowing my scabs to heal. From now on, in order to be able to read the aggravating drivel of Dowd, Krugman, Rich and others, one has to enroll in TimesSelect at a cost of $49.95 per year.

There are precious few things in life of which I am certain. However, the chances are infinitely greater that I will stick a feather in my ass and fly to Pittsburgh than they are that I will pony up $49.95 or even one penny to read the Dowdkrugmanrich crap.

I can already feel the healing beginning to kick in.


  1. good point however i suspect your sanguine attitude is a result of the fact you can still read the babble these morons produce simply by going to the newspaper sites that syndicate these columns, eh?

    Comment by mr. helpful — September 23, 2005 @ 8:33 pm

  2. Now liberal dumbfucks are gonna have to pay to read liberal dumbfucks. How neat is that?

    Comment by Denny — September 23, 2005 @ 9:54 pm

  3. I’m willing to pay fifty bucks to see you do the feather thing. But only if you make it all the way to Pittsburgh.

    Comment by Ken Adams — September 23, 2005 @ 11:42 pm

  4. Mr. Helpful,

    That was not very helpful. I had not considered that I could continue to mutilate myself by seeking these snotnoses out elsewhere. I hope that I will not do so. I like the thought of finally becoming scab-free.

    Comment by Jim - Parkway Rest Stop — September 24, 2005 @ 1:40 am

  5. jim…i hope you dont either but you never know.

    hey…i have an idea. maybe i will sponor a “help jimmy over at parkway reststop resist the urge to read the cretin dowd on free newspaper sites”–athon.

    yeah…i think i will do that this very moment!!!

    Comment by mr. helpful — September 24, 2005 @ 11:50 pm

  6. Rest easy Jim. Your delicate scabs will have the opportunity to heal. You see the NYT thought of everything, those papers whom they syndicate the colum are now required to have it restricted so the good news is that they’re drivel will be limited to the already converted.

    However, beware, the NYT has already issued legal warnings to bloggers and have sued 3 who have reprinted last weeks editorials (in their entirety) on their blogs. The key operative phrase here being “in their entirety”. Responding to and deconstructing portions in order to prove blatant lies is okay.

    So, hope this helps!

    Comment by Michele — September 25, 2005 @ 7:15 pm

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