November 19, 2005

Lines, Lines, Everywhere a Line.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 2:01 pm

Yo! Check this out.


I can hear you all saying to yourselves, “Yo, Jimbo. I don’t see anything.”

I figured as much. It’s the horizontal line that goes across the page. Lookit! Lookit! See?

I did the same thing in a post the day before yesterday, which you can scroll to or click here. Go look. I’ll wait.

[humming…tapping foot…humming some more]

OK, you’re back.

Now, don’t even think about telling me that you noticed the lines when you first saw them then. If you had noticed, I would have expected comments such as these:

”Jimbo, congratulations. Great lines, man. I really mean it. They are really something.”

“Awesome lines, Dude.”

“Jimbo, you are the Linemeister!”

“I have been depressed for months. Two days ago I was on the way out of the house to throw myself in front of a bus and I glanced at my computer and saw your lines. They changed everything for me. I’ve come to realize that I have a lot to live for. And, guess what? This morning I heard that I was hired for my dream job. Thanks, Jimbo!”

But did I get such comments? Nooooooo. That’s because lines are child’s play to you Virtuosi of Stylesheets and Houdinis of HTML – You who change layouts with the ease of changing socks. To me, Mr. Techno-Stoooopid, doing lines is a big farookin’ deal.

I can do lots of lines, like this.




Hell, I can make the line appear in the middle of the page, like this.


And, I can make ‘em fat, like this.


I can create interesting visual art. I call this one “Reading Between the Lines”.


The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog.


I’m drunk with power.




Now, I shall rest.

Update: This is for ‘Neck, the smartass.. ;-)


20 Comments »

  1. Looks like someone bought an HTML book. :)

    Comment by Craig — November 19, 2005 @ 2:33 pm

  2. GREAT farookin’ lines, Jim. I’m all agog and aquiver with envy and joy.

    Really. :-)

    Comment by DMerriman — November 19, 2005 @ 5:12 pm

  3. what lines?

    only kidding!

    Comment by gregor — November 19, 2005 @ 6:09 pm

  4. I don’t know, though.

    Those lines are kind of blocking up the scenery; breaking my mind.

    Comment by Craig — November 19, 2005 @ 6:52 pm

  5. Craig,

    You just saved everyone from a rant about no one recognizing my clever musical allusion.

    Comment by Jim - Parkway Rest Stop — November 19, 2005 @ 7:06 pm

  6. Well, Craig beat me to it. Trying to figure out if you have now placed that song in my head… If so, then I can no longer sympathize with your Henry the Eighth theme song Sunday. Time will tell.

    Comment by JCK — November 19, 2005 @ 7:56 pm

  7. Yep, the son is now in my head.

    “Virtuosi of Stylesheets and Houdinis of HTML”… well, now that you can do lines you’re one of us!

    Yo… Jim… now dat your fulla yourself, can you get on wit da funny stuff already? Ya know, like the Hillary stuff. OMG was dat funny!

    Comment by michele — November 19, 2005 @ 8:09 pm

  8. With all these lines, theres got to be some Johnny Cash about. Walkin’ it, or snortin’ it. Whichever you prefer…

    Nice lines Jimbo. Now, paint ‘em blue. ;)

    Comment by RedNeck — November 19, 2005 @ 9:07 pm

  9. … you are the man…. and that’s a fact..

    Comment by Eric — November 20, 2005 @ 5:32 am

  10. I’ve been studying the secret lines for hours with my PRS decoder ring and I still can’t decipher parts of the secret message. Here’s what I have so far:

    Ann_e
    _ays
    dri_k
    m__re
    OV_L_TIN_.

    Comment by dogette — November 20, 2005 @ 10:09 am

  11. Show off.

    Comment by Sgt Hook — November 20, 2005 @ 11:49 am

  12. Outstanding, Jimbo! Perpendicular!

    Comment by That 1 Guy — November 20, 2005 @ 11:57 am

  13. can you make them pink?

    jealous…

    show off….

    Comment by armywifetoddlermom — November 20, 2005 @ 1:37 pm

  14. You’re scaring me, Jim. . .

    Comment by moos — November 20, 2005 @ 4:19 pm

  15. I want lines!!! How can I get lines?

    Comment by liv — November 20, 2005 @ 4:38 pm

  16. Horizontal. . .sweet!
    Can you do verticals??

    Comment by MCPO Airdale — November 20, 2005 @ 10:24 pm

  17. Verticals? Maybe with a year or so of concentrated study.

    Comment by Jim - Parkway Rest Stop — November 21, 2005 @ 3:40 am

  18. I got the email you sent, tried to reply, but got the finga’ somewhere along the way. I don’t see no blue lines? Oh, and the vertical lines… hell man, they’re easy watch…
    | |
    | |
    | |
    | |
    | |
    | |
    | |

    Note, the spaces between the vertical lines, are actually invisible horizontal lines but you can only see ‘em cause the vertical lines were drawn before the invisible horizontal ones. Nice eh?

    Smart ass in deed! ;)

    Comment by RedNeck — November 21, 2005 @ 8:04 pm

  19. Wow – miss a day… miss the lines! These lines come in second only to your farookin’ great hair!

    Comment by Teresa — November 22, 2005 @ 3:21 pm

  20. “The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog.”

    I hate to whiz in your Wheaties, but your keyboard-checker sentence is missing an “s”.

    Try “jumps” :-)

    Comment by Harvey — November 22, 2005 @ 11:17 pm

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