January 27, 2006

New Wheels.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 8:10 pm

I’ve ordered a new, 2006 big, fat, black, capitalist car to replace my 2003 big, fat, black, capitalist car. With any luck, I should have it next week. Like my current big, fat, black, capitalist car, this big, fat, black, capitalist car has all the bells and whistles, except for the electric asswipes I was so hoping to get (the dealer said that the manufacturer does not offer that option).

I’m looking forward to the rush that comes with getting new wheels. Even though the new big, fat, black, capitalist car looks quite similar to my current big, fat, black, capitalist car, it will doubtless contain some new gadgets and will smell brandy-new. Nice.

One undeniable upside to having a big, fat, black, capitalist car is that if I find myself unable to pay for it, I can always strap on a black suit and drive people to and from Newark Airport. For an extra couple bucks, I could bring the axe and play a few tunes when we get stuck in the ever-present traffic.

9 Comments »

  1. we want photos, when it arrives….

    Comment by ArmyWifeToddlerMom — January 27, 2006 @ 9:53 pm

  2. I got as far as strapping on the black suit, and thought you were going to say ‘go to work for the guys with bent noses’ :-)

    Comment by DMerriman — January 27, 2006 @ 9:54 pm

  3. you capitalist pigs make those of us who cant afford such luxuries sick to our stomachs.

    heh heh heh

    Comment by mr. helpful — January 28, 2006 @ 1:39 am

  4. .. great news, Jimbo… August is the month for me… new wheels in August… I can hardly wait…

    Comment by Eric — January 28, 2006 @ 7:51 am

  5. Yes, photos indeed!

    Comment by A-Heldin — January 28, 2006 @ 8:37 am

  6. just got a brand-dandy new Buick Lucerne… hubba hubba. I had my eye on a nice ’59 Caddy Hearse, but common sense (Mrs. SOG’s, not mine) won out.

    Comment by gregor — January 28, 2006 @ 9:12 am

  7. We, too, have and love our BFBCC. In a parking lot one fine day, when gas prices were at their peak, a snippy hippy accosted me and snorked loudly across the lot at me, “WELL! How ya like havin’ that big ole SUV NOW?”

    I guess I was supposed to wring my hands and break down and sob into my tie-dye tee, “Oh woe is me! Never should have bought it! Wish I’d bought a used ’72 Civic like yours! Love the whirled-peas sticker, BTW.”

    Instead, I said, “Obviously I wouldn’t have bought it if I couldn’t afford it — not that it’s any of YOUR bidness.”

    Yes, I have a Case of the Ass pretty much all the time.

    Comment by dogette — January 28, 2006 @ 11:07 am

  8. Jeep with a Hemi and yes, I can afford the gas.

    Stupid hippies!!

    Comment by MCPO Airdale — January 28, 2006 @ 6:46 pm

  9. We got a Ford 500 Limited (thats the one that is self greasing, all you have to do is run over a hippy every 5000 miles)in July and could not be happier. Next week the spousal unit is going to pick out a nice big SUV for herself to replace the one she has driven into the ground.

    Too bad the economy is so bad. ahem

    Comment by azygos — January 28, 2006 @ 7:21 pm

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