February 6, 2006

New Wheels, New Gadgets.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 8:20 pm

I picked up the New Wheels (a/k/a The Big, Fat, Black, Capitalist Car) today. I’m happy to say that the deal I originally made stuck, and I even ended up getting some additional bells and whistles. What I also received is a New Car Manuel that is roughly the size of a small-town phone book.

If you don’t hear any more from me today, it’s because I am trying to figure out some of the cockpit controls and how to get the buttons in the car to open my garage door.

If I owned a digital camera (Remember, I’m computer stupid and I don’t even have an ATM card), I’d post pictures. However, I don’t and, therefore, I cannot. But, you can use your imagination. Think big and black, with a ragtop and a pinstripe, and it is named after a President who was shot in Ford’s Theater.

10 Comments »

  1. Congratulations!!

    Find a buddy with a digital camera or a camera phone and post a picture of that fine beast of an automobile!

    ; )

    Comment by Chrissy — February 6, 2006 @ 8:39 pm

  2. Hmmm, doing better these days I see. Well, Your Honor, I seem to remember you driving Mercury cruisers a few years ago………or maybe the cobwebs are too thick. The button to open the garage door has to be set by your wife. At least that was what mine told me and I never argue with her.

    Comment by Brian — February 6, 2006 @ 10:56 pm

  3. WooHoo!!! Congratualtions! Enjoy the new wheels.

    Comment by Teresa — February 6, 2006 @ 11:28 pm

  4. Wow, you bought a McKinley? Awesome car, man!

    Comment by Rube — February 7, 2006 @ 6:55 am

  5. Somehow I think there might be a website somewhere with a slick professional shot of a BRAND NEW big fat black 2006 Lincoln on it. ‘Course it won’t have the guy sitting in it pressing buttons on the dash with the manual open on his lap trying to get the various alarms to shut up while muttering “farookin’.”

    Comment by dogette — February 7, 2006 @ 10:23 am

  6. Jimbo – Aren’t you afraid that “they” will take away your Jersey credentials. . . after all, it’s not a Caddy!

    Comment by MCPO Airdale — February 7, 2006 @ 11:34 am

  7. Jimbo,
    In Denver New Car Manuel is a guy with an accent doing the detailing.

    Comment by Mark Reardon — February 7, 2006 @ 2:21 pm

  8. Jim,

    Drop me a line if you need help programming the homelink thing. I just got back from FL last month where one of my duties as ‘visiting brat’ was to program my dad’s homelink buttons in his Big, Fat, pale green (say it ain’t so dad!), Capitalist Lincoln Town Car.

    It really isn’t that difficult once you find the right ‘farookin’ pages in the manual.

    Good luck,
    Ed T.

    Comment by lactoso — February 7, 2006 @ 8:22 pm

  9. Good for you Jimbo, enjoy it to the fullest. You will fit right in, up there in Jersey.

    Comment by Catfish — February 8, 2006 @ 10:58 am

  10. Back in 1990 I bought a Chevy Astro Van, the extended version, because our little family of four liked to go car camping and this seemed to fit our needs. I discovered I also needed the extra carrying capacity to haul the owner’s manual.

    I personally never read the thing from front to back but I was lucky enough to have a 10-year old daughter who was a speed reader and extremely bright. I gave it to her to keep her occupied on our first trip and from then on I had my own voice activated help service. (She later taught herself to read Japanese! She said the kanji (letters) were just like reading music, which she mastered at around 11 years of age!)

    She’s 26 now and living on her own. Maybe that’s why I haven’t bought a new car in 6 years.

    Comment by joated — February 10, 2006 @ 11:50 pm

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