May 16, 2007

Hillary’s “To Do” List.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 5:39 pm

hillary-beat.jpgMany people organize their lives by constantly preparing and updating “To Do” Lists. It seems that Hillary is no exception, as our PRS Operatives came to learn when they happened upon Ms. Clinton’s. Here it is:

THINGS TO DO TODAY

1. Make appointment with speech coach in advance of upcoming trip to North Dakota. I’ve got to learn talk like that pregnant cop in the movie.

2. Send e-mail to Teddy Kennedy telling him I can’t make it tonight, and besides the “Cowgirl and Wild Stallion” Game is getting a little old.

3. Send e-mail to Nancy P. telling her I can make it tonight, but she should be sure to arrange to have Sven and Olaf there. Tell her I’m brining my Bat Girl costume.

4. Call Bill to remind him that I still think he’s an asshole and that he better not screw this up for me.

5. Have staff member plant a story talk to friends at CNN about rumors that B. Obama is interested in some Mandingo action with Ann Coulter.

6. Send Katie Couric flowers with a note telling her she’s swell.

7. I will not shriek today. I will not shriek today. I will not shriek today. I will not shriek today. I will not shriek today. I will not shriek today. I will not shriek today. I will not shriek today. I will not shriek today. I will not shriek today. I will not shriek today. I will not shriek today. I will not shriek today. I will not shriek today. I will not shriek today. “Shirekers cannot be President.” Thanks, Dr. Phil.

8. Have staff hire new hairdresser. Five in as many weeks! Flitty bastards.

9. Fire somebody, just to stay sharp.

10. Pick up K-Y for Nancy’s later.

9 Comments »

  1. Ya have to love a chick with a dayplanner.

    Comment by Dick — May 16, 2007 @ 6:49 pm

  2. Hillary and pelosi in hot 69 action.

    Just the thought of it could knock a buzzard off a gut truck.

    Comment by Hammer — May 16, 2007 @ 7:00 pm

  3. “Hillary and Pelosi in HOt 69 Action”

    Cappy gazes off in his best Dr. Dorian/Zach Braff imitation:

    That can put you off sex for a long time!

    Comment by Cappy — May 16, 2007 @ 9:08 pm

  4. Speech coach… ROFLMAO…

    Of the Hot 69 action, I refuse to think or I might go blind.

    Comment by Teresa — May 16, 2007 @ 11:28 pm

  5. 69 action?! ‘xcuse me while I take a moment to clean the puke off my keyboard!

    Jimbo, you always make my day with your wicked sense of humor.

    Comment by Lee — May 17, 2007 @ 12:50 am

  6. Jimbo…..Once again I am awestruck & seriously overcome with laughter. Fire somebody just to stay sharp! Damn!!

    Comment by dudley1 — May 17, 2007 @ 9:17 am

  7. Number ten – Have a minion pick up K-Y for Nancy’s later, the economy size, for that very large new toy.

    Comment by Charlie — May 17, 2007 @ 10:37 am

  8. Brilliant, Jimbo. You made my day. 🙂

    Now we need an intersecting Nancy diary…

    Comment by everydayjoe — May 17, 2007 @ 4:01 pm

  9. “I will not shriek today.”

    Oh please??? Please shriek today?? I love that part…

    Great post Jimbo. 😉

    Comment by Richmond — May 23, 2007 @ 9:18 am

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