January 24, 2008

Snubbed!

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 8:17 pm

Dear Senator Clinton:

I am really bummed. You were in New Jersey yesterday, and you didn’t stop by the House by the Parkway? It’s not like Jersey is a big state or anything. You know, like Texas? Was it something I said?

In anticipation of your visit to the Garden State, I had stocked up on Taylor Ham and chocolate vodka. I figure we could have sipped a couple chocolate vodkas (right from the freezer) and dined on Taylor Ham and Cheese sandwiches on hard rolls.

For after dinner, I had some Dylan and Joan Baez LPs ready for the turntable. I even would have let you sit in Mr. Recliner. After that, I could have played some guitar. I know all three chords to Kumbaya. I would have sung the harmony part while you sang the melody. It would have been, like, a mystic crystal revelation.

I’m so disappointed. Was it that I couldn’t offer you any weed?

Your pal,
Jimbo

15 Comments »

  1. Kristal?? Weed?? Bis du meshuggeh?! You know how smoking Mother Nature and getting the muncheez contributes to the junk in Shrilly’s trunk.

    Wait, are we talkin’ Shrilly, or the Gucci Suppository Speaker IN the House, since Shrilly strikes me more as your modern-day Anti-Saloon League pro-Volstead temperance type.

    Frankly, I’m surprised you didn’t demand a public lynching.

    Comment by Erica — January 24, 2008 @ 8:30 pm

  2. Jimbo: It could be worse – you could be from Cleveland, Ohio, like me, and have to deal with Dennis Kucinich every day. See this article from washingtonpost.com:

    http://blog.washingtonpost.com/the-trail/2008/01/23/kucinich_says_cleveland_corpor.html

    Comment by Mary — January 24, 2008 @ 9:34 pm

  3. She was angry because you got chocolate vodka instead of Cristal. Nance has spoiled her.

    Comment by Teresa — January 24, 2008 @ 10:12 pm

  4. You didn’t mention whether or not you’d be wearing your overalls, cowboy hat and boots. Didn’t she mention she liked boots?

    Comment by Mike R. — January 25, 2008 @ 12:06 am

  5. Jimbo:

    The whore was prolly out shopping for some more of those putrid pantsuits.

    Comment by Lee — January 25, 2008 @ 1:05 am

  6. Jimbo, me boy, you should know she’d avoid being in the vicinity of pork roll…

    Comment by gregor — January 25, 2008 @ 7:12 am

  7. Damn politicians are everywhere. I was not 100 paces away from the Newlyweds’ apartment before I was knee-deep in Secret Service agents, reporters, young preppy college kids and other lookers-on as it seemed some candidate that had been in Charleston for the debates was emerging from a restaurant to dive into a stretch limo.

    He could’ve stopped in for tea, at least.

    Comment by Joan of Argghh! — January 25, 2008 @ 7:12 am

  8. You got the ‘hots’ for Hillary?? :?

    Comment by TexasFred — January 25, 2008 @ 7:15 am

  9. Hmmm, when I was in the Air Force we called this suckin’ up..

    Comment by GUYK — January 25, 2008 @ 7:16 am

  10. You did not offer money — you should know the Clintons are all about the bucks (and the power).

    Comment by hoosierboy — January 25, 2008 @ 8:47 am

  11. Well, what do you expect? You’ve been exposing her diary pages and private phone calls with her bestest girlfriend, Pelosi! :}

    Comment by Joyce — January 25, 2008 @ 2:02 pm

  12. Thank your lucky stars. If she had dropped in her first act would have been to catalog all the neat possessions of yours. Then she would have ordered the Secret Service folks to “take some of it away for your own good.” Then they would have put it in her limo for “redistribution.” Hey, she did it with the Whit House furniture, no?

    Comment by joated — January 25, 2008 @ 4:37 pm

  13. Yo, Jimbo!, you betta ban erica from comments for a couple weeks, she said lynch… I thought she was smarter and more up to date with current events than to repeat a golf channel announcer’s mistake. When you let her back to commentin’, take the day off, and make her post an apology front and center when she comes back. If you don’t, Big Al, and I don’t mean Bundy, will be making flight arrangements for Joisey bro’… you don’t want that now do you?

    Joyce: It’s pillotti, not pelosi, … I’m pretty sure that’s her best friend.

    Joated: You forgot, she’d have took every last damned one of the dubya keys off Jibmo’s desktop Cray computer. It’s hard to find parts for the Cray computers nowadays.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cray

    Comment by RedNeck — January 25, 2008 @ 7:13 pm

  14. Wow…all of a sudden, “lynch” is a doity woid? How pothitively flummoxthing.

    I think, also, I’d rather suck on a menstruating elephant’s taint than apologize for my correctly using a word that means bumping off without due process.

    It’s not like I hung a n**se on the door of her headquarters or anything.

    Comment by Erica — January 25, 2008 @ 7:55 pm

  15. I think it was because you revealed her private conversations with Pelosi.

    Comment by RT — January 25, 2008 @ 8:18 pm

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