January 29, 2008

Celebrity Boxing Redux.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 9:29 pm

Yes, sports fans, it has been more than four years since PRS has hosted Celebrity Boxing, so I think it is time for another evening of high-profile slugfests, which, as in the past, feature the matchup and the guaranteed outcome.

The Match
Senator Chris “I’m Grey and OK” Dodd vs. Senator Joe “Plugs” Biden

The Result
In a curious match, where both parties agreed to talk at each other rather than actually fight, Senator Biden wins the decision, largely because he plagiarized the patter of Cassius Clay Muhammad Ali.

The Match
Dick “12 Gauge” Cheney vs. Nancy “Scalpel” Pelosi

The Result
The match is halted by the ring physician when seconds after the sound of the opening bell, Pelosi sneezed and her face split in two.

The Match
Mitt “GQ” Romney vs. John “Cheeks” McCain

The Result
Romney wins by a knockout when, in the second round, he hit McCain in the jaw with a bag of money sending McCain down for the count. After the bout, McCain filed a formal complaint with the Boxing Commissioner claiming that that Romney “bought” the victory. In an ironic twist, the Commissioner ruled that, while Romney violated the rules, he should be granted amnesty as a matter of compassion.

The Match
Barack “Yo Mama” Obama vs. Hillary “She Devil” Clinton

The Result
Midway through the fifth round, Obama falls to the canvas. The referee counts him out. Only after his corner men were unable to revive him, did they discover that he had succumbed to a fatal knife wound in his back. The D.C. Coroner ruled the death a suicide.


  1. “The D.C. Coroner ruled the death a suicide.”


    Comment by GUYK — January 30, 2008 @ 9:09 am

  2. Ouch! The commish’s roundhouse Amnesty swipe at McCain really left a mark!

    Comment by Joan of Argghh! — January 30, 2008 @ 9:23 am

  3. Did they throw Obama`s body in moon river at GOC in Atlanta?

    Comment by dudley1 — January 30, 2008 @ 9:51 am

  4. Understand that the bout between Obama and Hillary took place in Fort Marcy Park….How ironic…

    Comment by Tbird — January 30, 2008 @ 5:27 pm

  5. Dude, how do you make those crazy lines? They’re all the same size in length, but the top one stops short at the gloves. I think you’re bluffing about being a technodoofus.

    Comment by Erica — January 31, 2008 @ 9:59 am

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