The Good. Hawaiian beer. The local brews on Kauai and Kona are, quite simply, excellent. On Kauai, the Keoki Brewery and Waimea Brewery offer up suds that will properly quench a rain-forest thirst, and while on the Big Island one should not miss the Kona Brewing Company’s Fire Rock Pale Ale and the Longboard Lager. I tried to drink enough to pick out a fave, but I couldn’t decide, so I left some for youse guys.
The Not-So-Good. Street signs. For the approximately 8,000 people who actually speak Hawaiian and the thousands more Islanders who are accustomed to seeing the various repetitive combination of mostly vowels, street signs post no problem. However, for us mainlanders, trying to read street signs from a fast-moving car is a bitch.
”Yo, Jimbo. What was the name of that street we just passed?”
“Damned if I know. I saw a bunch of O’s, U’s and A’s. We better turn around.”
The Bad. Hawaiian popcorn. I’m prepared to admit that the bag I got could have been an outlier, but all I can say is that an unpopped kernel busted one of my teeth (could have been a crown, I’m not sure). Fortunately, it didn’t result in any pain while on the Islands, but I will be in the dentist’s chair tomorrow in order to assess the dental and financial damage.
The Ugly. Ass-Kicking Cold. Since yesterday, I have been sporting a gorilla-stompin’, coughing, hacking and wheezing cold. My guess is that it came from spending all that time in multiple planes surrounded by dipshits who think coughing and sneezing while not covering their pieholes is OK. I feel and look like Fido’s ass at the moment, and as soon as I post this turd I will seek the world of horizontal.