October 29, 2008

Scribbles.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 1:51 am

My cruller is too fried and my patience is too lean to do anything other than to use this space as a scratch pad for the skeeters that are buzzing around in my head at the moment. Because Comcast is jerking me around at the moment (see below), you should know that I am typing this on October 28, 2008 at approximately 9:10 p.m. It may get posted sometime around Thanksgiving.

1. Memo to the Democrats in Massachusetts’ Fourth Congressional District: Barney Goddamned Frank? What in the Christ is wrong with you people? Your voting history tells me that you feel genetically hard-wired to vote for Democrats, so I won’t suggest that you consider a *gasp* Republican. But, Jesus H. Christ! Barney Frank? How could anyone who has not suffered some sort of brain injury even consider voting for this disgusting, loudmouthed pig? There has got to be a Democrat in your state that is less of an asshole than this waste of skin. Jeez!

2. Farookin’ Comcast: At this very moment, I tried to fire up the web to check on a news story and came up blank. I glanced over at my modem, and ALL THE LIGHTS are blinking simultaneously, which tells me that something is screwed up either with Comcast or with my modem. I am typing this during the simultaneous light blinking in the hopes that the modem lights will soon return to normal and that I will be able to post this. Damn, I hate Comcast; I hate computers, and I hate Barney Frank (see above).

3. Modem lights still blinking simultaneously. Shit!

4. We’re Nazis? Holy crap! In 2001, Barack ______ Obama suggested that the United States had Nazi tendencies.

…there’s a lot of change going on outside of the Court, um, that, that judges essentially have to take judicial notice of. I mean you’ve got World War II, you’ve got uh, uh, uh, the doctrines of Nazism, that, that we are fighting against, that start looking uncomfortably similar to what we have going on, back here at home.

Sure. I remember 2001 and the networks of concentration camps, and the systematic extermination of Jews right here in the U.S. of A. What a swell idea it is to elect a guy as the President who thought this way about the United States just seven years ago and probably still does. Staggers the imagination, it does.

5. Farookin’ lights are still going blink, blink, blink all at the same time. Did I mention how much I hate Comcast, modems and computers in general? Don’t even get me started on Microsoft and why all of a sudden my Microsoft Picture Manager ceased working and apparently cannot be fixed by mortals.

6. So, you want to be a millionaire? If Obama wins, what’s the point? May as well just let some other chump break his ass to make a million and wait for the government to give you some of his.

7. Thank God and all that is holy for chocolate vodka and peanut butter.

8. I don’t know about you, but I would pay a considerable amount of money to be able to hit Al Sharpton with a sock full of shit, even though it would be a waste of perfectly good shit.

9. Pressed the reset button on the modem. Still Blink City. Comcast can kiss my ample ass.

10. Don’t ya love it when you’re standing OUTSIDE next to a sign that says “Designated Smoking Area” and some snotty shithead (almost always a woman) walks past you and waves her hand back and forth in front of her nose? Hand me that sock full of shit, please.

11, Going to try the “unplug the modem” thing. Bear with me. OK, it’s unplugged. Let’s see what happens now.

12. Replugging ……. Ha! Now only two lights are on and neither is blinking. I need all the lights on and the first and third blinking. Comcast can eat my dirty shorts.

13, Screw this computer thing. I’m gonna watch television.

14. Doooo doooo doooo doooo doooo doooo doooo (conveying the passage of three and a half hours of sleeping in Mr. Recliner)

15. Houston, we have normal modem blinkage. Obviously Comcast was just screwing with my brain. Do I post this crap? Damned straight. Sucks to be you.

13 Comments »

  1. Worth waiting for. Every minute of it.

    Comment by tree hugging sister — October 29, 2008 @ 3:54 am

  2. Yep, comcast was out again yesterday.

    Oh techno father, in your optical wisdom please grant us your children wandering through the arid wasteland of comcastic the joy of fios soon.

    Comment by Mr. Bingley — October 29, 2008 @ 6:06 am

  3. It’s all good. I’m going with number 7, however, as my Beautiful Thought For The Day.

    Thanks!

    Comment by Joan of Argghh! — October 29, 2008 @ 6:21 am

  4. “I don’t know about you, but I would pay a considerable amount of money to be able to hit Al Sharpton with a sock full of shit, even though it would be a waste of perfectly good shit.”

    Priceless!!! I needed a good belly laugh 1st thing in the AM….Thanx Jimbo.

    And btw, I have felt like that for years LOL!!

    Comment by Dave — October 29, 2008 @ 7:52 am

  5. Man I wish I could write like that when my cruller was fried. LOL.

    Sorry about Comcast. I have been very lucky so far with Charter up here. Only 2 or 3 interruptions of service since I moved – never longer than 2 hours. I am astounded as I had heard nothing but bad things about either cable company.

    Comment by Teresa — October 29, 2008 @ 10:27 am

  6. Comcast is a twist in the shorts…I can pretty much count on my service being down entirely at least one day a month, and usually two.

    I look at it like this…if I missed 12 days at work in a year without reason, I’d have my big ass canned….

    Must be nice to be the only game in town….

    Comment by Tommy — October 29, 2008 @ 10:35 am

  7. So the same people who repeatedly voted for Ted Kennedy selected Barney Frank to represent them as well, and you are somehow surprised by this display of stupidity!?
    And women being demonstrative and waving away imaginary smoke bothers you as much as Al Sharpton! You sure?

    Comment by Zagfan — October 29, 2008 @ 10:58 am

  8. The only explanation I have for Bawney Fwank is that the Dems are stuffing the ballot box.

    Comment by John — October 29, 2008 @ 11:19 am

  9. Oh man, that was the funniest thing I’ve read all day. Thanks for that – I needed it.

    Re: Barney Frank – he’s ugly too!

    :)

    Comment by Carmen — October 29, 2008 @ 3:32 pm

  10. Glad Comcast stopped messing with you – but that was funny as hell!!

    And obviously Barry O. has never been to the Heart Mountain Relocation Center site near where I grew up…

    It’s totally obvious that we were (and are) just like the Nazi’s… What a complete dumbass Barry is. Gah.

    Comment by Richmond — October 29, 2008 @ 4:31 pm

  11. I don’t even smoke (anymore) but I HATE HATE HATE (full of hate!) those jackass intolerant non-smoker ex-smokers, or whatever the hell they are. All hysterical with the stupid histrionics, the little hand waves, the little fake coughs. GAH.

    Barney Frank is a lampoon of himself already. What a double maroon with cheese that asshole is.

    I totally enjoyed O’Reilly yelling at ole BARN (on O’Reilly’s show). It just made me feel better to see BARNEY get yelled at. And now the jerk has a campaign commercial out wherein he’s using the O’Reilly clip and making a little joke at the end, “I’m Barney Frank and I approved this message and enjoyed speaking on TV without interruption.” Oh HA HA HA laugh thought I’d die.

    Yeah I guess I’m in the same sort of mood you’re in. We’re about to possibly put a socialist black liberationist whatever the hell he is into the highest office in the land. People who think there are 16 U.S. Senators are voting for Obama. I guess this is how societies implode.

    Well. Glad I stopped by to cheer you up.

    Comment by dogette — October 29, 2008 @ 7:56 pm

  12. Hairboy…dahlink…bubele…you know what you need? I mean, who am I to presume what YOU need? But I think what might do you good is a nice, old-fashioned shvitz-bad.

    Get some of the Usuals together, wrap a white towel around your waist, sit your old grisly tuccheses down inside a steamroom, and talk for a while about girls, cars, and music. No politics!

    I’m telling ya, bro, you’re gonna drive yourself into mental illness. Liberals are dooooshbags (I know a couple cool Dems, so I can’t say they’re all bad), they make your blood pressure spike, they say stupid shit, and you may as well enjoy the last few weeks of the Bush Presidency, since it’s likely gonna be quite a few more years before we see a Conservative president elected again.

    I thought for sure sitting around a fire and looking at the stars would cure what ails you…you’re one tough customer, Hairboy.

    Hey, note to Dogette: I am the worst! I quit smoking for something like four months, only to go to this blogmeet and drag on other people’s cigarettes. But I’m with you. Those primadonnas with their girly gesticulations about smoke in the air (talkin’ to you, Bloomie!), they need to be whacked with the shit sock.

    Comment by Erica — October 29, 2008 @ 8:33 pm

  13. I will reiterate my standing offer to send a Linux “live” CD (lets you try Linux without buggering up your [spit] Windows). Just send me a snailmail address; postage, packaging, and all that are on me. Linux (the ‘operating system’) and ALL the software (enough to fill a DVD) are FREE, and as easy to use as Windows — only more stable. Oh, and the ‘basic’ software (word processing, etc) all reads/writes the proprietary Micro$oft formats just fine, thank you, so you won’t lose anything if you decide to switch.

    Comment by DMerriman — October 30, 2008 @ 12:18 am

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