â€œI like to watch the streetcar go by when I’m downtown. I get to wave at my money.â€
Cousin Jack complaining about a privately owned streetcar in Portland, which, in large part, is paid for by taxpayers.
â€œI just can’t watch a woman who is such a tight-ass that if she farts, dogs three counties away go deaf. You make Queen Victoria look like Paris Hilton.â€
LeeAnn, of â€œThe Cheeseâ€¦â€ commenting on the woman on â€œMy Big Fat Obnoxious Fianceâ€ who doesnâ€™t seem to get the gag.