Tonight, John Kerry is the Headliner. I heard on the radio that his speech will last approximately fifty minutes. I figure that means that he can spend twenty-five minutes taking one position on the issues and then spend the other twenty-five minutes taking the opposite position. Hell, itâ€™s worked so far.
He will be preceded by quite a cast of characters, including Madeline Albright, Joe Biden, Wesley Clark, Nancy Pelosi, and Joe Lieberman (Iâ€™m surprised heâ€™s being allowed on the podium).
My goal is to hear what the Big Kahuna has to say for himself and to try not to become catatonic in the process.
I am glad this is the last night. I am worried about my health.
Update: Hereâ€™s what I saw:
Wesley Clark: My favorite line was, â€œRepetition does not turn a lie into the truth.â€ True enough, Wes, but if the Democrats really believed that, they would not have bothered with the
four-day bullshitfest convention.
Joe Lieberman: I felt sorry for the guy. He was only slightly more popular to the moonbats on the convention floor than would be, say, Dick Cheney. Memo to Joe: Itâ€™s time to abandon the Dark Side.
Nancy Pelosi: Her speech had built in â€œapplauseâ€ pauses, but the applause often was often not forthcoming during the pauses. I think thatâ€™s because the people in the hall couldnâ€™t see that she had her fingers crossed while she was saying things like how much she respects and admires the men and women in uniform. I have always thought of her as simply being strident and obnoxious, but until tonight, after having seen her interviewed, I had not realized that she is also about as dumb as a bag of hammers.
Madeline Albright: She was the knockout punch tonight. Shortly after she accused the administration of â€œtwisting the intelligenceâ€ in order to go to war, I lost consciousness, causing me to have to watch the John Kerry speech in re-run on C-Span.
John Kerry: Holy crap! He served in Vietnam!! Did you know that? No kidding. He really did. I saw the pictures.
The line that almost knocked me out of Mr. Recliner was, â€œSaying there are weapons of mass destruction in Iraq does not make it soâ€ â€“ this coming from a guy who said exactly that at least a dozen times. Letâ€™s go to the audiotape, John.
He also said, â€œI ask you to judge me by my record.â€
Thanks for the advice, John. I think Iâ€™ll do just that.
Mercifully, itâ€™s over.