We’ve been busted.
November 6, 2004
Well, now that the election is over, I suppose I should remove the two campaign buttons on the sidebar. I donâ€™t want them to become the cyber-equivalent of a faded, old bumper sticker from a campaign long ago concluded.
However, if you recall the pain I experienced getting the first button up there and functioning, you know why I quake with fear at the thought of again tangling ass with Mr. Template. My bowels loosen each time that blast of HTML lights up on my screen.
I actually hear it mocking me for my incompetence.
Mr. Template: â€œCome on, Jimbo. You want a piece of me? Letâ€™s see what you got.â€
Mr. Template: â€œOooohhh, tough guy. I see youâ€™re pasting a copy of me into a Word document. You donâ€™t have a hair on your ass if you donâ€™t just dive in and start changing shit, you sissy boy.â€
Mr. Template: â€œWaddya gonna do now? Print it out and study it as if you were planning a freakinâ€™ moon shot? You are pathetic.â€
Mr. Template: â€œLetâ€™s go Chickie Chickie. Itâ€™s easy. A little â€œdiv classâ€ here, a little â€œdiv classâ€ there, and some well-place quotation marks. Itâ€™s a snap for anybody whoâ€™s not a chicken shit like you. Just donâ€™t drop your guard, or Iâ€™ll turn this place into something that looks like the Rosetta Stone.â€
Me: â€œWill you shut the hell up! Iâ€™m trying to concentrate here.â€
Mr. Template: â€œConcentrate all you want, dipshit. You got nuthinâ€™.â€
Me: â€œScrew you. Iâ€™m gonna do this tomorrow.â€
Mr. Template: â€œWorks every time.â€
I just returned from having spent a couple hours in Costco along with appeared to half population of the state of New Jersey. Costco on Saturdays is roughly equivalent to the 7th or 8th circle of Danteâ€™s Inferno.
I could really use this right about now.