November 11, 2004

Veterans Day Visit.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 9:13 pm

John Kerry was in the limo today on his way to the airport to take his plane to his villa in France. The car passed by a small American Legion Post. His advisors had told him that it would be a good idea for him to spend more time with real people. So, on the spur of the moment, he directed the driver to stop so he could pop in and connect with the “peeps,” his brothers in arms.

John: “Hello there, guys. I was in the neighborhood, and I thought I would pop in just to shoot the breeze, catch up on the straight skinny, if ya know what I mean.”

Guys at the Bar:

John: “I am a member, you know. I have my membership card right here. See?”

Guys at the Bar:

John: “So, how are you guys doing? Vietnam? Me too. I served in Vietnam, you know.”

Guys at the Bar:

John: “Hey, yeah, Vietnam. I remember lots of stuff. ‘You buy me Saigon tea, GI? Me love you long time.’ Remember that? How cool was that?”

Guys at the Bar:

John: “Yeah, man. Hey! The Doors ‘Come on baby light my fire….’ That was so groovy, really far out. And how about those Animals ‘We gotta get outa this place….if it’s the last thing we ever doooooo’ I loved that stuff. ‘Goooooooood Morning, Viiii-et-NAM!’ Great shit, no?”

Guys at the Bar:

John: “Silly me. I never introduced myself. That’s ‘cause I thought you guys would recognize me. You do know who I am, don’t you?”

Guys at the Bar:

Bartender: “What can I get you?”

John: “Hey, how’s it goin’? You a vet too?”

Bartender: “Yeah, I am. What can I get you?”

John: “How about a nice pinot noir. Nothing too robust, but something with a nice nose and a smooth finish.”

Bartender: “You gotta be shittin’ me.”

John: “Oh, I forgot. People drink beer in these places. How about a Grolsch?”

Bartender: “Grolsch? Never heard of it. We got Bud, Miller and Coors.”

John: “Well, let’s see. How about it guys? What’s your favorite poison? Waddya say I buy a round? What’ll you have?”

Guys at the Bar:

John: “Uh, OK. Listen, I just remembered. I’m late for a speaking engagement. I’ll see you guys.” (leaves)

Guys at the Bar: “Asshole.”


Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 7:34 am

I figure that Site Meter must have gone squirrley last night, or lots of people have suddenly decided that this place is about as appealing as the men’s room in the Port Authority Bus Terminal.

I hope it’s the former, but one never knows.

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