It appears that I am back online, although I am not exactly sure how it happened.
Hereâ€™s the backstory.
When my modem was acting moribund and finally resisted all attempts at resuscitation, I called Comcast. After wading through the half dozen or so prompts, I finally spoke with a very pleasant woman. I explained the problem, including my having followed the recorded Comcast advice about unplugging my modem to let it â€œreset,â€ and that, after three days of doing that, it would no longer â€œreset.â€
She sent a signal to my computer and said, â€œYou are right. Youâ€™re not connected.â€ Of course, I already knew that I wasnâ€™t connected. Thatâ€™s why I was on the farookinâ€™ telephone. However, wanting to avoid, at all costs, any chance of angering this woman and never again seeing the internet, I simply acknowledged that she was correct and that I was not connected.
She asked, â€œWould you please unplug your modem for me, sir?â€ Even though I knew that I had done the unplugging thing several times, I followed her directions.
â€œWould you please re-start your computer, sir?â€ I did that too.
â€œNow would you plug the modem in again, sir?â€ OK, Jimbo. Stay calm. Maybe this is part of the standard drill. I plugged the modem in.
I reported that the lights on the modem were still flashing simultaneously (the sign, Iâ€™ve learned of a disconnected or dead modem). After again sending a signal to my computer, she reported, â€œYou are still not connected.â€ Deep breath. Count to ten, Jimbo. â€œI will have to arrange for a technician to come to your home.â€ She arranged an appointment for the following day.
When I arrived home from work last night, I received a message from my next-door neighbor asking me to call him, as he was having internet problems. He is a â€œcomputer guyâ€ for a living, and I know that he also has Comcast internet service.
He asked, â€œAre you having trouble with your internet connection?â€ I described my problem, and he confirmed that he had been having the exact same problem. His problem started at exactly the same time as mine, and it behaved in exactly the same way. He had Comcast guys over already three times, the second two times after they replaced his modem. I told him that a Comcast guy was coming to my house the following day and that I would report that he was having the identical problem. In fact, we exchanged Comcast reference numbers (the numbers given when one calls for support/service).
Now, I am neither a â€œcomputer guyâ€ nor a â€œcable guy,â€ but I figure that two separate residences (roughly twenty or thirty feet apart) that both have Comcast internet cable service, and both services come off the same pole, and both computers are having identical problems that began at and occurred repeatedly at exactly the same times, sort of suggests that the problem must be somewhere between our common pole and where Comcast keeps the magic machines that provide the internet service.
OK, so the cable guy (a very nice and polite fellow) shows up, â€œWhat seems to be the problem, sir?â€
I reported my problem and then added, â€œThis could be a little tricky, you see, because my neighbor in that house next door is having the identical problem, and it began at the same time as mine and occurred each time at the same time as mine.â€
The cable guy politely but very firmly said, â€œI donâ€™t car about any of that. Iâ€™m here to deal with your problem,â€ and with that, he hooked a little box to my incoming line and said, â€œYou shouldnâ€™t be having a problem.â€ Easy, Jimbo.He went outside and verified that the cable that supplies my internet service is separate from the cable that provides the TV service, so it wasnâ€™t a â€œsplitterâ€ problem.
He then unplugged and re-plugged my modem (Iâ€™m thinking that thing may wear out from all this plugging and unplugging), and proudly showed me that the lights were no longer flashing. â€œYouâ€™re good now,â€ he said. To which I lamely responded, â€œYou did exactly what I have been doing for the last three days, and it worked for a while and then disconnected.â€
â€œWell, itâ€™s good now, he replied.â€
I decided to try again. â€œBut my neighbor is having the same problem. I even have his Comcast reference number!â€ Still polite, but now very firm and visibly annoyed, he said, â€œI told you I donâ€™t care about that. I donâ€™t know whatâ€™s going on over there, and it has nothing to do with you. He may have six televisions hooked up and bogus splitters for all I know.â€
He asked me to start up the computer, which I did, and sure enough, I was connected. He explained to me how the lights on the modem are supposed to look, and I didnâ€™t bother telling him that I freakinâ€™ knew that already.
I asked, â€œWhat should I do if this thing craps out after you leave?â€ He left me with his cell number, but it was clear that the offer of the cell number insta-response was good until 5PM and that any future crapouts would have to be reported to Comcast.
After he left, I called my neighbor with the bad news.
As it turns out, my neighbor explained that, after talking with me, he had spent additional time last night on the phone with a supervisor at Comcast and calmly and carefully explained the situation, including the part about my having the identical problem. At the urging of my neighbor the supervisor did some kind of fancy trace and reported, â€œHmmmm, interesting. After the seventh hop, it died.â€ (Donâ€™t ask me what that means, but I believe it indicates that something was awry at Comcast.)
Further, it appears that, after my neighborâ€™s call, Comcast may well have done something either internally or at the pole about the â€œSeventh hop and deathâ€ thing, because my neighborâ€™s computer had been connected to the internet since this morning.
My only conclusion is that the problem (somewhere in Comcast) must have already been fixed by the time the Cable Guy arrived here. Perhaps thatâ€™s what accounted for his amazing unplug-replug fix.
Either that, or this stuff really is magic, and we are all truly at its mercy.
So far, the lights on the modem are still not flashing the death sign, but I have no idea how long it will last.