Thank you for the “feel better” wishes, but unfortunately I still feel like warmed-over shit. However the upside is that having a brand-new cold can be a source of blog fodder.
In that regard, I have decided that what the world needs now is a disposable handkerchief. I’m not talking about “tissues,” which are completely useless when one’s nose is generating mass quantities of viscous slop, often expelled with the muzzle velocity of an M-16. Kleenex (particularly the “pocket-sized” variety) is about as useful as a postage stamp when confronted with the blowage from a mucus-laden schnozzola. One needs two more of those useless bits of paper to clean up the resulting nasal and digital mess.
Regular handkerchiefs are not much better. They work for the first half-dozen or so blows, but after that they become a wet, disgusting, germ-filled rag that gets put back in one’s pocket. What a clever idea, walking around with a large piece of wet, snot-filled cloth in one’s pocket.
The closest thing I have found to a disposable handkerchief is a paper towel, a soft one like Bounty. One can tear off individual sheets and carry a couple at a time. They are each about the size of a handkerchief, they can handle serious nasal discharges, and, when they become soggy they can be tossed. The problem is that they look like paper towels, which may not be appropriate for certain social or business settings.
Yep, the world definitely needs a disposable handkerchief.
Oh, and a “healthy” cigarette that doesn’t taste like ass would be cool too.