January 21, 2006

Howie!

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 6:20 pm

Howard Dean.jpgAs soon as we heard that Howard Dean, the Chairman of the National Democratic Committee, was coming to the Garden State, we dispatched one of our PRS Operatives to Newark Airport to see if he could spend a few moments with Dr. Dean.

He caught up with Dr. Dean as he waited for his limousine to be brought around.

PRS: “Dr. Dean, welcome to New Jersey. I’m from PRS and I wonder if I could ask you a couple questions?”

Dean: “PRS? Is that a public radio station?”

PRS: “No sir; it’s a blog.”

Dean: “Ah, a blog. I’ve heard something about them. All right, but I don’t have much time.”

PRS: “So, what brings you to New Jersey, Dr. Dean?”

Dean: “I’m here to meet with the State Democratic Committee. We are embarking on a campaign designed to bring truth back into government. The people are tired of George Bush and his rotten administration and the filthy lies they tell all the time, the scoundrels. The people need to be told the truth.”

PRS: “What are the truths you’ll be telling the people of New Jersey?”

Dean: “To start with, we’ll be making it clear to the people of New Jersey that Republicans are mired in a culture of corruption and they are taking money and outright bribes hand over fist from these awful lobbyists. We’ll be pointing out that no Democrat has taken anything from any lobbyist, ever, and that we are not the party of corruption.”

PRS:No Democrat? Dr. Dean, this is New Jersey, which is run by Democrats, and the state has a history …”

Dean: “Then there is the big lie – the one that was told to the American people about weapons of mass destruction. A big, fat lie.”

PRS: “Dr. Dean, are you calling the President of the United States a liar?”

Dean: “Absolutely! Every time his mouth opens, out comes a big, fat lie. He lied about weapons of mass destruction being in Iraq. Liar, liar, pants on fire!”

PRS: “Let me see if understand this, sir. You’re saying that the President knew there were no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, but he told the American people that there were such weapons there to justify his ordering the armed forces to attack Iraq?”

Dean: “Absolutely. No doubt about it. He’s a liar. A no-good stinking liar.”

PRS: “And knowing that his lie would eventually be discovered, and that once his lie was discovered, he would suffer a political firestorm that could ruin his presidency, and yet he invaded Iraq anyway? Why would he do such a thing?”

Dean: “Because he’s stupid. He’s a liar and he’s stupid.”

PRS: “And yet, he was re-elected. How do you account for that?”

Dean: “That’s because the people who voted for him are also stupid.”

PRS: “You’re saying that everyone who voted Republican is stupid? That’s a lot of people, sir.”

Dean: “Yeah, they’re all stupid – every single one of them. Bunch of dumbass racist goobers who have no teeth and thirteen-year old wives. The ones who aren’t goobers are war-mongering, money grubbing pigs, who hate minorities and exploit the working class. Oh yeah, and they’re all liars too. I hate every single one of them and everything they stand for.”

PRS: “Do you really think that saying those kinds of things will help the Democrat party in the next election?”

Dean: “You sound like a Republican to me. I’ll bet you’re a damned Republican, aren’t you?”

PRS: “I really don’t see what my political preference has to do with our discussion, sir.”

Dean: “I knew it! You’re one of those stinking Republicans. You’re obviously a liar and a stupid bigot. I hate you and everything you stand for. This interview is over.”

PRS: “Thank you for your time, Dr. Dean.”

Dean: “Liar! Bigot! Rethuglican! Wingnut piece of shit!”

PRS: “Have a nice day, Dr. Dean.”

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