I see that radical Muslims who are offended by cartoons have taken to burning buildings and engaging in other forms of violent protest, which have resulted in the deaths of about a dozen people so far. Imams are busy issuing fatwas that call for the killing of those responsible for offending their sensibilities.
Well, let me tell you that sometimes my sensibilities are offended as well. However, because I live in a
relatively civilized country, I donâ€™t have the option of issuing fatwas calling for the death of people who have managed to deliver unto me a case of the ass on any given day. I, therefore, have decided that, henceforth, I will be issuing fartwas, which call for bowel windage to be directed at such people.
As such, I am issuing the following two fartwas:
Rev. Joseph Lowery. Reverend Lowery (Is he an Al Sharpton – type Reverend, or does he have a church somewhere?) took advantage of the memorial service for Coretta Scott King to take a couple political shots at the President, who sat with Mrs. Bush on the stage behind Reverend Lowery. He said, â€œWe know now there were no weapons of mass destruction over there, but Coretta knew and we knew that there are weapons of misdirection right down here.â€
â€œReverendâ€ my ass.
Former President Jimmy Carter: Jimah, the worst president in my lifetime, also opted to play politics to the crowd at Mrs. King’s memorial service when he referred to Dr. and Mrs. King as having been the target of â€œsecret government wiretapsâ€. This brought the Bush-hating hooping and hollering audience to its feet. Speaking of â€œmisdirection,â€ Jimah failed to mention to the hooters and hollerers that the wiretapping of Dr. and Mrs. King was the work of the Kennedys (Bobby, the Attorney General and his brother Jack, the President) and Lyndon Johnson, all bright stars in the democrat galaxy.
So, if you have the occasion to be in the presence of either of these two ill-mannered swine, turn your posterior toward their general direction and fart proudly.