Dear Susan [Sarandon],
Way to go, girl!
Dear Bill [Maher},
A couple million of the guys I did shows for are with me now, and just about all of them want to kick your ass. They’re already taking numbers. Just thought I’d let you know in case you come by this way, which is, admittedly, doubtful.
Very truly yours,
Dear [President] George [Bush],
Don’t let the bastards get you down.
I remember when they said I looked like an ape, talked funny, and a got us into a hopeless quagmire.