I was at the Post on Sunday with the Usual Suspects having a couple cocktails and watching the New
Jersey York Giants lose to play the Philadelphia Eagles. As you may recall, this was a game that would determine a shot at the playoffs. As such, the guys were paying close attention to the intricacies of the game, and I (at best a casual fan) found myself caught up in the game — sort of.
You see, while the other guys were focused on the strategy, tactics and the quality of the play, I could not help but focus on how often Eli Manning (the Giants’ quarterback) licked his farookin’ fingers before each play. Can I get a “EWWWWWWW”?
I think it’s safe to say that just about everyone agrees that one of the best ways to avoid becoming ill is by regularly washing one’s hands (at a minimum, always following toilet stuff and always prior to eating). Hell, even democrats and republicans can agree on that.
There’s nothing magical about the reason why washing one’s hands is effective in preventing sickness. Washing one’s hands prevents the nasties that reside on environmental surfaces from getting into our mouths by hitching a ride on our hands.
I also think that even democrats and republicans can agree that sticking one’s fingers (even washed fingers) in one’s mouth is not a particularly good idea.
During the course of the game, Eli (as part of his job) handles the football, which is also handled by dozens of other people (as part of their jobs). He also spends a fair amount of time with his hands in the dirt (he can thank his linemen for that), and he places his hands regularly between the legs of the center. I figure that by the end of the game, by licking his fingers, Eli has consumed frightening portions of other people’s sweat, spit, snot, blood, and ca-ca, not to mention, grass and dirt (including fertilizer, organic and chemical).
It probably makes no sense to try to educate Eli about the health benefits of not putting ca-ca, poo-poo fingers into one’s mouth, because despite the quantity and quality of yuck that Eli consumes every week, he appears to be the picture of good health. How’s about we tell him that if he stops licking his fingers, maybe he will throw fewer passes to the other team?