Today, like 90+ million people, I will watch the Super Bowl. Truth is, I probably donâ€™t even rise to the level of a casual football fan. I can probably name, at best, one or two players on either the Colts or the Bears. Maybe I can name twice that many on the team that plays in New Jersey and calls itself the â€œNew Yorkâ€ Giants. Still, it is difficult not to be swept up into what has become a National Happening.
This year, as in past years, I will attend the Super Bowl Party at â€œDa Postâ€. My buddy Paulie and his brother Willie (the drag racer, who lets me pretend that Iâ€™m a member of the Pit Crew â€“ the Junior Assistant Apprentice Parachute Packer and minder of the torque wrench), run the event. For a single, very reasonable, price there will be an open bar and lots of â€œmanlyâ€ food available (on any other day, it might be called a hot and cold buffet, but not today).
Of course, the price of admission is only the starting point, because when I walk in the door, Willie, who is the â€œPool Meisterâ€ will probably relieve me of at least fifty bucks, all the while calling me a â€œcheap f**kâ€ loudly enough to get the attention of those who might have planned only to invest one or two bucks on a â€œsquareâ€, thereby causing them to rethink their wagering position. Itâ€™s become somewhat of a ritual, and I love it.
While Willie is running the pools (two for each quarter, two for the final score, and a couple more for God knows what else), Paulie mans the bar, and is often way more entertaining than the game â€“ even the commercials.
Paulieâ€™s non-stop, hilarious commentary on, well, everything, is worth the twice the price of admission. One of the best parts of the show is Paulieâ€™s attempts to grapple with a drink request more complicated than a opening a bottle of his beloved Budweiser and his dishing the requestor a good-natured ration of shit.
You want a Manhattan? What the f**k color panties are you wearinâ€™? Yo, Jimbo! This guy wants a Manhattan! How do you make that shit?
Hell, from time to time, I may even look in on the game.
America â€“ Is this a great country, or what?