February 26, 2007

Al Gore’s E-Mails.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 6:13 pm

lA oreG.jpgUnless you have been living in a cave, you know that former Vice President Al Gore won an Academy Award for his “documentary” concerning global warming. As you might imagine, Mr. Gore received numerous congratulatory e-mails and a few not so congratulatory ones.

PRS Operatives have obtained copies of several of those e-mails, which appear below.

Dear Al,

So now you’re Mr. Big Shot Academy Award winner?

Mazel Tov, NOT!!

As far as I’m concerned, you’re still a backstabbing swine.


Very truly yours,
Joe Lieberman

Dear Mr. Gore:

I received your recent letter in which you demanded a refund of the fee you paid for our Dale Carnegie course entitled “Developing an Engaging Personality”. You claim that you are entitled to a refund because you failed to successfully complete the course.

As our guaranty plainly states, if you fail to successfully complete the course, at your option, you may have a refund, or you can re-take the course at no charge. You opted to re-take the course, and, in fact, you have re-taken the course six times, and you failed each time.

Mr. Gore, enough is enough.

J. William Attridge
President, Dale Carnegie, Inc.

P.S. Oh, congratulations on your award. You must have been a real live wire at those Hollywood parties.

Dear Mr. Gore:

We at the Mayo Clinic have received your inquiry concerning elective surgery.

I regret to inform you that medical science has yet to develop a surgical procedure for a personality transplant.

Have you considered a Dale Carnegie course?

Yours truly,

George A. Sommers, M.D.
Chief Medical Administrator
The Mayo Clinic

Dear Al:

Now that you’re swimming in cash, do you think you might finally settle up on the $275 thousand still outstanding for the legal fees you owe me for maintaining a straight face while I tried to sell that steaming batch of bullshit to the courts in 2000?


If I do not received payment in full within ten (10) days, I shall obtain a judgment against you in that amount and attach your private jet and SUVs.

Don’t mess with me, Al.

David Boise, Esq.

Dear Al,

CONGRATULATIONS!!! Your documentary was AWESOME!!!

I really like your style and the care you took in doing the necessary research. How about we collaborate on a documentary? It would be so AWESOME. I’m thinking of doing a film that will offer indisputable proof that the Bush family is comprised of aliens from a fascist planet in another galaxy. Sweet, no?

Call me when you get a chance. We can do dinner.

From one Oscar winner to another,

Michael Moore

Dear Al:

Any chance I could get a part in your next movie?

I could play Bill Clinton.

Very truly yours,
Charles Manson
Inmate #277654

Dear Al, Pal o’ Mine:

Got any tips for getting into the movie business?

I’m planning for my future.

Your pal,
John Kerry

Dear Asshole:

Now that you’re getting all this ink, don’t even THINK about telling your new Hollywood Best Pals to support anyone but me in 2008. Just so we’re clear, if you pull that shit, I’ll squash you like the pus sack you are. Tipper too.


Hillary Clinton

Powered by WordPress