It’s Sunday morning, and I’m sitting here with a cuppa thinking about what to write. I’m frankly too lazy to write about the federal investigation into yet another croooked Jersey politician and the state legislature’s smarmy and secretive practice of tossing taxpayer money to favored legislative districts at budget time (quaintly referred to as “Christmas Tree Grants”).
So, I thought I would just share a couple thoughts that have passed through my cruller on this Sunday morning:
Kumquats/Cumquats: Who eats them? I never have. When I think of them, I think of the W.C. Fields movie, “It’s a Gift”, where a guy insists on buying Kumquats/Cumquats from Fields’ character, Harold Bisonette (“That’s ‘Bee-soh-nay'”). Finally, the word(s) “Kumquat/Cumquat” sound dirty to me.
Hip Hop: It rhymes with “Shit Plop”. That has been banging around in my head for days. Damned if I know why.
Fig Newtons: I hate them – strangely shaped soft, tasteless “cookie” wrapped around stuff that looks like crap and has the mouth feel of sandy glop. I can only imagine how gross it looks to see these things expelled from a giant extruding machine prior to being sliced into eating size – a turd wrapped in dough. Blecch.
“Access Hollywood” and similar crap: If you’ve wondered whether we are doomed, sit through a half hour of that shit to remove any doubt. Sad.
Cable TV: When we got cable TV in the mid-seventies, it cost approximately $14.00 per month. The guy said, “This price will never go up. If anything, it will come down.” I laughed in his face then, and I laugh (sort of) now each time I open the cable bill and it tickles $100.00, not counting the $40.00 per month for cable internet service. The hell of it is, I think the guy actually believed what he was saying back then. I figure he must have fallen off a telephone pole.
Penn & Teller: I think that Penn should lose the ratty looking ponytail, don’t you?
Well, that’s about it. Later I’ll be heading to Da Post to join the Usual Suspects for The Original Bill’s wonderfully prepared annual corned beef and cabbage dinner, complete with Irish soda bread and maybe a beer or two.