Let me say this. I have never put toilet paper over a toilet seat before I sit on it. To me, if a menâ€™s room is scuzzy enough to worry about that (e.g. your typical shit-smeared, piss smelling, puke on the floor joint), Iâ€™ll make other arrangements to take care of No. 2.
No, Iâ€™m talking about a menâ€™s room, which is not open to the public and which is accessible to only a few people who work in my vicinity. Iâ€™m talking about a menâ€™s room that is regularly cleaned to a state of military spotlessness.
So, today I find that someone who used the menâ€™s room before me felt compelled to cover the toilet seat with toilet paper — obviously not a guy who spent any time in the military. Now, Iâ€™m a â€œlive-and-let-liveâ€ kinda guy. Hey, if you feel you want to cover a spotless seat with toilet paper before you place your royal ass on it, fine with me.
However; if covering the seat with toilet paper so as to ensure that your precious heiney cheeks never touch anything but toilet paper makes you happy, thatâ€™s fine, BUT when you are finished, kindly flush the goddamned ass paper down the toilet. Donâ€™t leave it for
the next poor slob ME to flush your goddamned Howard Huges ass-protection paper down the toilet.
Look, Dipshit, Iâ€™ve already got Algorism and Nancy Pelosiâ€™s butt nuggetry tormenting me, so I donâ€™t need to be worrying about how to get your goddamned ass-barrier toidy paper into the bowl and flush it away.
It would take the Army about twelve seconds to straighten out your sorry, papered protected ass.
That is all.