As we drove into the State Park, the Ranger handed us a brochure, which said something like, â€œDo not feed the animals in the park, including the alligators.â€
Jimbo: â€œSAY WHAT?? Alli-farookinâ€™gators? Turn this goddamned car around!â€
The Usual Suspects took great delight at my shitting in my pants simply as a result of reading the brochure. On we went.
As we checked out the various roads in the park, I wondered where alligators might lurk. It took about three minutes to find these Evergladely like stream things with dense growth right up to the waterâ€™s edge on both sides. â€œAlligator City,â€ without a doubt.
One such road led directly to a bank of one of the Evergladey stream things on which were canoes and kayaks that one could rent. At the place where the water meets the ground was a sign that said, â€œNo Swimming. Alligators present.â€
No Swimming? NO SHIT!
To me, â€œswimmingâ€ includes what oneâ€™s sorry ass has to do once a canoe or a kayak capsizes in that stinking Evergladey water. Iâ€™ve never been in a kayak, but I have been in canoes, and those suckers flip over if you sneeze wrong.
I want to know who are the nimrods who would rent (i.e. PAY to use) a canoe or a kayak and shove off from the place where you have been clearly warned that â€œswimmingâ€ might turn you into alligator lunch?