Today I decided to rummage through a portion of my briefcase in order to toss some of the crap that has accumulated there over the past several months. I got rid of a bunch of gas receipts and some well-aged work stuff I had brought home to read.
I also came across a few scraps of paper on which were my longhand scribbling about one thing or another. Most of them were phone numbers and hastily jotted-down points relating to business matters. I did, however, find a rather beaten looking old business-size envelope, which was folded in half and on which I had scratched a few non-work related thoughts.
Turns out that the scribbles were my running notes obviously taken while I was in the Service Area waiting for the Big, Fat, Black Capitalist Car to be pampered. No doubt they were originally jotted down in anticipation of using them to write a stellar blog post. After all, Iâ€™ve written about being captive in the Service Area a couple of times before, so at the time I must have thought that the goings on were blogworthy.
Well, the scribbles never did make it into a post, but seeing as how I donâ€™t feel like doing any heavy lifting right about now, I thought Iâ€™d share the notes from the back of that envelope, uncut, uncensored and frankly ungood. I figure it will give you a peek inside my cruller at what was a less-than-outstanding time.
The Scene: When these notes were taken, I was sitting in the dealerâ€™s Customer Waiting Area, which has all the ambience of a bomb shelter. I had brought a book to read, but the distractions were such that reading was all but impossible. Here â€˜tis:
Shit! Fake Judge Whatâ€™shername is on TV.
Nice looking. Wonder where she finished in L.S. class?
Case â€“ Who shot BB gun and broke window?
P*** – Pissed off woman â€“ blames local kid
Witness — Some guy has homemade CSI trajectory charts â€“ Who is this guy? Charts?
Kid = âˆ†? â€œDidnâ€™t do it.â€
â€œJudgeâ€ â€“ Guyâ€™s charts clever but wtf?
â€œJudgeâ€ â€“ To âˆ† — I know you did it, but â€¦ reasonable doubt â€¦blah blah
Verdict for âˆ†
Case â€“ Laptop ownership dispute – P is âˆ†â€™s former ER [employer]
âˆ† – â€œP gave me computer when I quit. Owed me $â€
P — e-mail from âˆ† to âˆ†â€™s former co-worker â€“ Screw them I kept comp.
P wins. No shit.
Seriously fat babe waddles into room â€“ works in connecting office â€“ grabs two jelly donuts â€“ back to office â€“ BAD IDEA.
Case: P suing roofer(?) â€“ damage to aluminum door jamb on garage.
â€œJudgeâ€ has hammer! Whacks piece of aluminum â€“ dent — shows âˆ† how easy it was.
Verdict: P rules of evidence?? WTF??
Hot in here â€“ stuffy as hell. People assholes. Cell phones!
New TV Program
F**k! Another â€œjudgeâ€ â€“ Divorce Court. Shit.
Wife is P He knew I wanted him out â€¦â€¦â€¦â€¦.
At this point, I must have been summoned to the Service Desk to pay my bill and begin the day.
My cruller: Not a pretty picture.
*** In legal shorthand, the symbol for â€œplaintiffâ€ is the Greek letter Pi. Damned if I could a Pi symbol in Word. Hence the â€œP.â€ The symbol for â€œdefendantâ€ is the Greek letter Delta, which, as you can see, I managed to find. While weâ€™re at it, the symbol for â€œcontractâ€ is the letter â€œK.â€ None of the cases mentioned involved a contract, but I thought you might like to know that little tidbit. No charge.