Hilly: What the HELL is wrong with you?
Bill: Who is this?
Hilly: Who the hell do you think it is, you piece of shit.
Bill: Oh â€¦ Hi, Hilly.
Hilly: Donâ€™t you â€˜Hi Hillyâ€™ me. What the HELL is wrong with you?
Bill: What are you talking about?
Hilly: You know damned well what Iâ€™m talking about. I saw your performance on that morning television show today.
Bill: Which show? The one where I followed the guy talking about pig shit? Ha ha ha.
Hilly: Donâ€™t get cute with me. I saw all three shows you were on, and you pulled the same shit on each one of them.
Bill: I donâ€™t know what youâ€™re talking about.
Hilly: Oh, really? Horseshit! On every one of those shows, you spent damned near all the time talking about YOUR accomplishments. You didnâ€™t spend any time talking about MY accomplishments!
Bill: Hilly, theyâ€™re only ten-minute segments.
Hilly: Are you saying that I donâ€™t have ten minutes worth of accomplishments?
Bill: Letâ€™s not go there, Hill. This discussion always goes badly.
Hilly: So, you rat bastard, youâ€™re saying I have absolutely no accomplishments?
Bill: You mean other than marrying me?
Hilly: YOU SONOFABITCH. Iâ€™M SICK AND TIRED OF PEOPLE SAYING I HAVE NO ACCOMPLISHMENTS OF MY OWN. MARRYING YOU? YOU MUST BE SHITTING ME! YALE LAW SCHOOL, AND I WOUND UP WITH A SACK OF SHIT GOOBER LIKE YOU? YOU WERE NEVER ANY GODDAMNED GOOD! YOU! YOU! YOU! ITâ€™S ALWAYS ALL ABOUT YOU. Iâ€™LL TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT YOU, YOU, YOU, AND THAT IS THAT YOU, YOU, YOU MAKE ME SICK! SICK! SICK!
Bill: Youâ€™re shrieking again, Hill. Iâ€™ve told you about that before.
Bill: Are you still there?
Bill: I said, are you still there?
Bill: Good. Now, if youâ€™ll just learn to shut up and leave me alone, I just may be able to get us re-elected.
Hilly: OK, Bill. Sorry.
Bill: Thatâ€™s better.