In the ratâ€™s nest that is my cruller, I have a vision of Barack Obama owning and operating a diner. Really, I canâ€™t explain this stuff. Anyway, the following interaction between Obama and the dinerâ€™s customer percolated to the top.
Obama: Good morning, sir. What can I get you?
Customer: Good morning to you. Iâ€™m starving. How about a cheese omelet, with a side of bacon, some buttered white toast and a cup of black coffee?
Obama: You need to change that.
Obama: Yeah, you need a change. Youâ€™ll have an egg white omelet with low fat cheese, and. instead of the bacon, Iâ€™ll give you fresh fruit. The white bread is out of the question. Iâ€™ll give you whole wheat toast. No butter: margarine instead. Iâ€™ll switch the coffee to decaf.
Customer: I really wanted what I ordered, if thatâ€™s OK with you.
Obama: Not OK. I told you. Iâ€™m changing your order. I know whatâ€™s best for you. Itâ€™s all about change. Youâ€™ll be glad you did.
Customer: OK, if you say so. Iâ€™ll give it a try.
Obama: Great. Thatâ€™ll be $18.95, please.
Customer: $18.95? Thatâ€™s pretty steep for breakfast.
Obama: Yeah, but itâ€™s good for you. Iâ€™d like it in advance, please.
Customer: OK. Payment up front is pretty unusual, Iâ€™ll say (pays Obama). Good thing for you Iâ€™m as hungry as I am.
Obama: Thanks. Iâ€™ll be back with your breakfast in a jiffy.
. . .
Obama: Here you are. Enjoy your breakfast.
Customer: Is that it?
Obama: Yeah, is there a problem?
Customer: This is one piece of dry toast and a glass of water!
Obama: Yeah, I changed your order. Embrace the change and nurture your hope.
Customer: I was hoping to get my goddamned breakfast!
Obama: Like I said, enjoy your breakfast, big guy.
Customer: This is nuts. Gimme my damned money back. Iâ€™m outta here.
Obama: Sorry. Your money will go to the greater good. Besides, from the looks of you, it appears that you have been eating more than your fair share.
Customer: This is bullshit!
Obama: Keep hope alive!
Customer: I hope you get crabs.