1. Yesterdayâ€™s Accident Number 1: I cut my right thumb and index finger opening a bottle of vodka. It was a fancy-schmancy bottle with which I was gifted. (psssstâ€¦French). I bled like a farookinâ€™ pig, which, or course, required a couple band-aids and an extra vodka.
2. Yesterdayâ€™s Accident Number 2: I smacked my head into the garage door while it was in the process of opening. Usually I open the garage door by pushing the button on the widget in the house and walking out to the garage. This time I forgot to push the in-house widget button, but instead used the keypad near the garage door itself to open the door. Obviously, my internal clock was still thinking in-house widget. And, you wonder why I will never, ever operate a chainsaw? No injuries beyond an â€œOuch, Goddammit!â€ but it did mess up my hair. Believe it or not, Accident Number 1 had nothing to do with Accident Number 2. Really.
3. American Stupid: I saw enough of American
Stupid Idol the other night to see the white guy who needs a shave get booted off the island after all the silly emotion-building â€œright after this breakâ€ bullshit. The audience was absolutely crestfallen. Weâ€™re farookinâ€™ doomed.
5. Would you rather drink a gallon of gorilla piss or fly across the country? Close call. More later.
6. I saw an advertisement for an upcoming â€œrealityâ€ show (History Channel? Discovery Channel? Canâ€™t remember), which apparently follows exterminators around while they kill zillions of roaches, rats and other nasty shit. Yo, Peeps! TURN. OFF. THE. TUBE. READ. A. GODDAMNED. BOOK.
7. Some of you Peeps have way too much moving-around shite in your sidebars, causing your page to take too goddamned long to load. Thatâ€™s my non-geekazoid opinion, anyway.
8. I gather that the â€œMarch Madnessâ€ thing is over, and I totally missed it. I figure itâ€™s like totally missing the flu.
9. Looks like Iâ€™m crapping out before I hit number 10. Itâ€™s been a rough week.