I will give an honest try-ee
To tell you of Blue Hawai’i,
The land of lava, leis, and lomi-lomi.
For Jimbo has gone there,
With his Great Farookin’ Hair,
Which is thick enough to snap your av’rage comb-ee.
Oh, the girls (grass-skirted, brown),
Will attempt to lay you down,
If you quaff enough of all them yummy Mai-Tais.
And they’ll really start to school ya,
And commence to dance the Hula,
The better for to bounce their perky Tai-Tais.
You’d best keep it in your pants
When the ladies start to dance,
For to monkey with the locals is forbidden –
Lest you be caught by the Wife,
Who might go and grab a knife
And Bobbitize the part of you that’s hidden.