February 7, 2009

Rahm and Barack — “The Stimulus Problem”

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 1:04 pm


Barack: This is the President of the United States, the Commander-in-Chief of the Armed Forces, the Leader of the Free World and the Most Powerful Man on the Planet speaking.

Rahm: Cut the f**kin’ shit, Barack, it’s me.

Barack: Hey, Rahm. Wassup? Can we make this brief? Did you know I can get any goddamned movie I want here? I don’t know how they do it. You caught me in the middle of watching “Shaft.” I f**kin love that move. “This cat Shaft is a bad mother –“

Rahm: Barack…..

Barack: I think I wanna carry a gun, just like Shaft. “Who’s the cat that won’t cop out, when there’s danger all about….. Shaft!” Damn!

Rahm: Barack, listen to me. We’re having problems with the Stimulus Package.

Barack: What kind of problems?

Rahm: The f**kin’ republicans and even the f**kin’ press; they’re bitchin’ about some of the shit in the Bill and people are beginning to pay attention.

Barack: What kind of shit is in there that they’re bitchin’ about? Nancy said it’s a good Bill.

Rahm: Are you f**kin’ shitting me? You’re talkin’ to me, Barack. There’s tons of shit in there. Surely you’ve read it.

Barack: Of course, I haven’t read it. The thing is damned near seven-hundred pages long, Rahm. What the f**k?

Rahm: Well, we’re gonna have to do something. The shit’s unraveling in the Senate.

Barack: Who is making trouble up there?

Rahm: This prick, Inhofe from Oklahoma, is running his mouth, and people are paying attention.

Barack: But, the focus group liked the Bill.

Rahm: That focus group shit is two f**kin’ weeks old! Are you f**kin’ listening to me? We have a f**kin’ problem with this Inhofe guy.

Barack: OK, tell the asshole I’ll meet him one on one on television.

Rahm: I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to debate a senator on television.

Barack: I’m not talking debate. I’m talking basketball. One on one. I’ll kick his ass. Ever see me hit those three pointers? I f**kin’ rule!

Rahm: Jesus, Barack. That’s the dumbest f**kin’ idea I’ve ever heard.

Barack: OK, smartass. You’re supposed to be the baddest guy on the block. Just f**kin’ fix it, and don’t f**kin’ bother me with your bullshit problems. I’m trying to watch a f**kin’ movie.

Rahm: OK. OK. I’ll f**kin’ handle it.

Barack: Oh, and check on the gun thing and maybe a cool black outfit too. “This cat Barack is a bad mother –“

Rahm: Yeah, I’ll get right the f**k on it.

Barack: Rahm?


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