Barack: This is the President of the United States, the Commander-in-Chief of the Armed Forces, the Leader of the Free World and the Most Powerful Man on the Planet speaking.
Rahm: Cut the f**kinâ€™ shit, Barack, itâ€™s me.
Barack: Hey, Rahm. Wassup? Can we make this brief? Did you know I can get any goddamned movie I want here? I donâ€™t know how they do it. You caught me in the middle of watching â€œShaft.â€ I f**kin love that move. â€œThis cat Shaft is a bad mother â€“â€œ
Barack: I think I wanna carry a gun, just like Shaft. â€œWhoâ€™s the cat that wonâ€™t cop out, when thereâ€™s danger all aboutâ€¦.. Shaft!â€ Damn!
Rahm: Barack, listen to me. Weâ€™re having problems with the Stimulus Package.
Barack: What kind of problems?
Rahm: The f**kinâ€™ republicans and even the f**kinâ€™ press; theyâ€™re bitchinâ€™ about some of the shit in the Bill and people are beginning to pay attention.
Barack: What kind of shit is in there that theyâ€™re bitchinâ€™ about? Nancy said itâ€™s a good Bill.
Rahm: Are you f**kinâ€™ shitting me? Youâ€™re talkinâ€™ to me, Barack. Thereâ€™s tons of shit in there. Surely youâ€™ve read it.
Barack: Of course, I havenâ€™t read it. The thing is damned near seven-hundred pages long, Rahm. What the f**k?
Rahm: Well, weâ€™re gonna have to do something. The shitâ€™s unraveling in the Senate.
Barack: Who is making trouble up there?
Rahm: This prick, Inhofe from Oklahoma, is running his mouth, and people are paying attention.
Barack: But, the focus group liked the Bill.
Rahm: That focus group shit is two f**kinâ€™ weeks old! Are you f**kinâ€™ listening to me? We have a f**kinâ€™ problem with this Inhofe guy.
Barack: OK, tell the asshole Iâ€™ll meet him one on one on television.
Rahm: I donâ€™t think itâ€™s a good idea for you to debate a senator on television.
Barack: Iâ€™m not talking debate. Iâ€™m talking basketball. One on one. Iâ€™ll kick his ass. Ever see me hit those three pointers? I f**kinâ€™ rule!
Rahm: Jesus, Barack. Thatâ€™s the dumbest f**kinâ€™ idea Iâ€™ve ever heard.
Barack: OK, smartass. Youâ€™re supposed to be the baddest guy on the block. Just f**kinâ€™ fix it, and donâ€™t f**kinâ€™ bother me with your bullshit problems. Iâ€™m trying to watch a f**kinâ€™ movie.
Rahm: OK. OK. Iâ€™ll f**kinâ€™ handle it.
Barack: Oh, and check on the gun thing and maybe a cool black outfit too. â€œThis cat Barack is a bad mother â€“â€œ
Rahm: Yeah, Iâ€™ll get right the f**k on it.