June 30, 2009

Driving at Breakneck Speed.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 8:27 pm

I have nothing interesting or humorous to say, so I will direct you to an excellent, informative and fun-to-watch video called the National Debt Road Trip.

via Doug Ross, who should be read every day.

June 29, 2009

The 219.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 9:18 pm

You know what? I am still seething over what happened in the House of Representatives on Friday.

Today, I was thinking about all of the 219 Congressmen who voted for the bill, without a single one of them having read it.

Let’s take a brief flight of fancy and assume that a handful of them actually read the original 1,000 pages (Remember, I said this was a flight of fancy). They certainly couldn’t have read the 310-page amendment that was proffered at 3:00 a.m. of the day of the vote. And they damned sure didn’t read the entire bill, as amended, because no one had a copy of the final bill, which would integrated the 300+ page amendment into the 1,000 + page text.

Just think about that for one minute. Really, think about that.

219 Congressmen voted for a bill that would affect virtually every American citizen and every American business and would create a monitoring and enforcement agency that would have to be the size of the IRS. And they didn’t read it! Look, even if, in concept, they believed in stated goals of the bill, how could they vote for it without knowing what was in it? Is that what we send these people to Washington to do?

Simple. If you don’t want to read the goddamned bills you vote on, don’t run for Congress.

Every goddamned one of them positively sickens me.

P.S. The One’s Energy Czar hasn’t read it either. You can’t make this shit up.

June 28, 2009

Three of Eight.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 3:52 pm

By now you know (assuming some news broke through the Pop Curtain) that eight House Republicans voted for the Crap and Tax bill that was the subject of the previous post. I am saddened furious that three of the eight are representatives from New Jersey. (New Jersey has 13 seats in the House: 8 Democrat and 5 Republican).
Here are their names:

Frank LoBiondo, 2nd District, elected in 1994

Chris Smith, 4th District, elected in 1980

Leonard Lance, 7th District, elected in 2008

LoBiondo and Lance stated the reasons for their votes here and here. In both cases, their stated reasons are taken directly from Democrat talking points. As for Smith, one can speculate that his reasons may well include a promise to increase the existing promise of $500 Million to his district for a non-profit corporation boondoggle involving solar power.

Memo to Congressmen LoBiondo, Smith and Lance:

As representatives of New Jersey citizens, surely you are aware that New Jersey citizens and businesses are already being crushed under federal and state regulations and taxes. Add to that the scandalous amounts of property tax people and businesses pay to municipalities, with the result being that people and businesses cannot afford to stay here and are fleeing the state.

Surely you are also aware that the Cap and Trade Bill that each of you voted for will result in yet more bureaucracy, more regulations and an army of enforcement agents invading communities, businesses and (yes – if not immediately, in the future) people’s homes. I have no doubt that you know this having most carefully read all 1,200 pages of bill and having weaved in all the provisions of the 310-page amendment that was proposed at 3:00 a.m. on the day the bill was to be voted on.

You seem oblivious (or dismissive) of the inescapable reality that this bill amounts to a tax on energy, which will result in increases in prices in everything that involves, directly or indirectly, energy, which is … well … just about everything. Your burdening the already-tax battered people of the state with yet another tax is disgraceful, particularly at this time, and even more particularly, based the highly questionable (if not downright false) premise that carbon dioxide is somehow warming (or is it cooling?) the planet.

It apparently doesn’t concern you that similar measures have been tried in Europe and have failed miserably. They have resulted in huge tax increases and increased unemployment, without having any discernable effect on global temperatures.

You gentlemen are now in my radar and that of many, many others throughout this state. Next year I will do my very best, including using this little corner of the internet, to see that each of you will have to pack up your Washington operation and get a real job somewhere.

Maybe you can each get one of those millions of “green” jobs.

June 26, 2009

A Legislative Pile of Crap.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 10:34 pm

I am so pissed that my eyes won’t completely focus.

If you’ve paid attention to what little news there is about the Cap and Trade Bill that was being considered by the House of Representatives, you would know that it’s a twelve-hundred page cornucopia of opaque statutory language, the goal of which is to create a massive energy tax scheme and an invitation to the federal government into your town, your home, your home owners association, your car, your workplace, your supermarket and God knows what else. It creates a derivative market (Can you say Fannie Mae?) in “energy credits” to be run by the morons in Congress and nameless federal bureaucrats. What could go wrong?

Twelve hundred pages! Keep in mind that interspersed throughout the twelve-hundred pages of turgid legislative language are numerous references tying the Cap and Trade statute into other federal statutes, each one being complicated in its own right.

OK, if that wasn’t bad enough, at the eleventh hour the detestable Henry Waxman parachuted a three-hundred and ten page amendment into the already huge bill.

I have not read the 1,200 page bill (although I know what its sponsors have in mind), but for the hell of it I spent fifteen minutes scrolling through the 300+ page amendment. There was plenty in there, which reflects the dogged work of “Green” lobbyists that would make Joe American’s hair stand on end.

You have to understand that when an amendment is offered, it is not done in the form of a redlined document (e.g. Word “track changes”), which is the way that people in the twenty-first century would do things. That would make things more transparent. No, the amendment says things like, “Section 25, subparagraph B, fourth line, insert the following ….” What that means is that in order to understand how the amendment changes the statute, one has to hold the amendment up next to the 1,200 page bill and essentially hand-mark the bill.

There is no way under the sun that anyone in Congress – ANYONE in Congress — managed to go through that exercise to in order to understand what the final bill really says. And yet, these bastards voted on it and passed it today.

Let me say, as goofy as this blog might be, I have some pretty fancy credentials when it comes to reading and sorting out the content of federal statutes. I figure it would take me at least an full working week to work through the entire statute to know what the hell is in there, and I’m to believe that the collection of fools who managed to get themselves elected to Congress digested all this in a matter of a day or two?


I’m not even going to get into what I (and legions of climatology experts) believe to be the extremely questionable premise on which this legislative pile of crap is based, because the existence of genuine scientific debate doesn’t matter. This has nothing to do with “Climate Change,” but has everything to do with tax and overarching federal power.

I would love to give every son of a bitch in Congress who voted for this mess a quiz on the content of the bill. Not one of them would score higher than twenty percent, and you can take that to the goddamned bank.

You voted for change? Welcome to it.

June 25, 2009

Jimbo’s Deli: Recent Menu Additions.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 9:40 pm

deli-sandwichYes, at Jimbo’s Deli, we pride ourselves on maintaining an innovative menu, and we believe that every great sandwich deserves a name. Our prior offerings are here and here. Behold our latest additions:


The Cap and Trade Wrap
Limburger cheese, drizzled with a fetid brown sauce and wrapped in baloney. As a special feature, we don’t tell you the price until you’ve eaten it!

The Hope and Change
This is a popular menu item with our younger customers. For $15.00, you place your order for a sandwich and hope you get it. Don’t expect any change. It’s fun!

The Stimulus Sandwich
This belly-buster contains nothing but a full pound of hot, steaming pork. Most people skip the bread with this deli delight.

The Health Care Special
For a modest price of $25.00 we’ll serve you what we think you should eat. The food itself is free! Note: People over 65 with chronic health conditions may not be served anything.

The Climate Change Coprophagia Supreme
This is hugely popular with our customers who are avid followers of the Gospel of Al Gore. This truly unique offering consists of a man-sized portion of prime, fresh bullshit piled between two slices of bread made from wheat that is organically grown in a hand-tilled, carbon emission-free field. Note: We hope you understand that we can only serve this sandwich “to go.”

June 24, 2009

What’s that Smell?

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 9:07 pm

Many peeps I know, at the first sign of a cold, smear the inside of their nose with Zicam Gel swabs, in the belief that it will prevent the cold from taking hold, or lessen its severity. While this may or may not be true, the FDA has issued a warning stating that the use of Zicam nasal swabs may be associated with a loss of sense of smell, which could be of long-lasting or permanent. The FDA Notice is here.

This could be a bummer, given that most of our sense of taste relies on olfaction. In addition, as the FDA notes, the loss of sense of smell could prevent one from detecting the smell of gas, smoke or other dangerous stuff.

The flip side is that this could be a good thing if you find yourself surrounded by people with world class B.O., or you are in regular close contact with a person who has dramatic bowel windage issues.

PRS reports, you decide.

June 23, 2009

Ignorance Sometimes is Bliss.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 9:00 pm

Lately, I seem to be hearing people talk about things about which I know nothing. I’m not talking about listening to peeps like our friend Carl talk about physics and math and my being clueless about the subject matter. No, I’m talking about things that lots of people seem to know about, but about which I know zip.

Here are a few that come to mind:

”Housewives of California/New Jersey/God Knows Where Else”
I gather from the conversations I’ve listened to that these are TV programs that track the lives of women who are thought to be typical (?) of housewives of the particular state identified in the program title. WTF? If they’re “typical,” what’s the point? If they’re not typical, what’s the point? From what I hear, all the women are assholes. What’s the point?

There is much talk of them, and I’ve seen people staring into them for long periods of time. I don’t know anything about i-Phones, other than that they appear to be much larger than most cell phones and that they have a touch pad that requires finger sliding. I prefer to remain ignorant, lest I get sucked in. Confession: I felt that way about i-Pods, but now I own one.

Vampires on Television
I gather these shows depict people in the 21st Century dealing with blood-sucking vampires, sometimes by slaying them and other times interacting with them, much as would any other person. Dracula emerging from a coffin at night in Transylvania , saying creepy things with a Hungarian accent, wearing a cape and scaring the shit out of everyone is one thing, but vampires wearing Dockers seems nuts to me.

Television Shows About People With a Shitload of Kids
People are talking about one of the couples in one of these shows “separating.” I gather it’s a big deal. Oh, then there is the crazy lady with eight kids. What is so fascinating about watching screaming kids and frazzled parents or, in the case of the lady with eight kids, a farookin’ nutbar? Peeps sure like to talk about those peeps, though. Don’t know anything about it, and I like it that way.

Video Games Where One Creates a Virtual Life or Virtual People
Whoa! Some weird shit there. I know just enough about those things to know I don’t want to know any more about them.

There are doubtless more, but I’ve decided that this post is a D+ at best, but I don’t feel like writing anything else, so I shall lower the quality control bar and not delete it. Sorry.

June 22, 2009


Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 8:48 pm

Yep, more farookin’ rain. I figure my muse is waterlogged.

I read emails, zapped a bunch of spam, and now I don’t feel like doing much of anything with this computer.

Maybe later, maybe not.

June 20, 2009

Thanks, Denny.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 6:48 pm

My pal Denny (the only slightly younger half of the Elderly Brothers) posted this on his site just for me.

What a guy!

June 19, 2009

A Call to the Doctor’s Office. Updated.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 8:29 pm


I got to thinking about how a routine call to the doctor’s office might go in the future. Here ‘tis:


Operator: ObamaCare …. Please hold.

(15 minutes later)

Operator: ObamaCare, may I help you?

Patient: My God, I dialed the number for my doctor’s office, and I spent ten minutes responding to telephone prompts to finally speak with a real person, then I was put on hold….

Operator: We’re very busy, sir. How can I help you?

Patient: My name is John Stevens. I’m a patient of Dr. Jones, and I’d like to speak with Dr. Jones when he has a moment.

Operator: That won’t be possible, sir.

Patient: OK, I would like to stop by today if possible. I have a very painful earache. The pain is horrible, and it’s even making me nauseous.

Operator: That won’t be possible, sir.

Patient: OK, I’ll take a bunch of aspirin, but can I see the doctor tomorrow?

Operator: That won’t be possible, sir.

Patient: Who’s his covering doctor? I think I really need to see a doctor. This is getting worse every day.

Operator: Sir, we don’t have doctors here. This is an ObamaCare Call Center. All phone calls to physicians’ offices are automatically forwarded here now.

Patient: Jesus, I don’t understand all that; I really need to make an appointment to see a doctor . Can you make an appointment for me?

Operator: What is your Social Security Number, sir?

Patient: Is all this necessary? I’ve been Dr. Jones’ patient for fifteen years.

Operator: We can’t even discuss an appointment until I get your Social Security Number.

Patient: OK, It’s 111-22-1234. Now, will you please make the appointment. I’m in terrible pain here.

Operator: .(following lengthy pause) It’s not that simple, sir. I’ve checked, and you are not in our system. We will require detailed information about your medical history, family’s medical history, your occupation and some information about your lifestyle.

Patient: Didn’t you hear me? I said I’ve been a patient of Dr. Jones for fifteen years. He has my records – fifteen years’ worth!

Operator: It seems that Dr. Jones’ files were not in a form that could be readily imported into our databases. It’s a common problem and we have people working on getting that information into our system.

Patient: Christ! What do I do in the meantime?

Operator: You have to register in the system.

Patient: OK. Can I do that online? Can you register me now? My ear is throbbing!

Operator: No, sir. I cannot do that. You see, this is a Call Center. You will have to go to one of the area ObamaCare Registration Centers to register. I suggest you call first, so they can tell you what kind of documentation you will need to bring with you in order to be permitted to register. You may need an appointment.

Patient: You’re kidding me, right?

Operator: I’m very busy. Do you have any questions about the instructions I have just given you?

Patient: Yes I do. If I can manage to drive to gather up all the documents this Registration Center needs, and I can manage to drive there without passing out, and I don’t have to make an appointment to register, will they be able to make an appointment for me to see a doctor tomorrow?

Operator: No, sir. As I told you, that is a Registration Center. We make the appointments once you are registered. The Registration Center advises us when your registration is complete.

Patient: How long does that take?

Operator: They’re pretty backed up over there, so I’m guessing it will take about a week.

Patient: A WEEK?!? I can’t want a damned week! I’m in horrible pain. I’ll just go to the emergency room.

Operator: That won’t be possible, sir.

Patient: Why?

Operator: Under the new regulations, treatment of earaches by emergency room personnel is not permitted.

Patient: This is insane!

Operator: Sir, you have to take into account that medical services are now free.

Patient: Free-Schmee! I’ll pay a doctor to examine my ear. I’m worried that this may turn into something really serious.

Operator: That won’t be possible, sir. Physicians are prohibited from accepting payments outside the system.

Patient: Let me guess … the regulations?

Operator: That’s correct, sir.

Patient: Let me ask you as one human being to another. What the heck am I supposed to do? I’m actually worried about passing out while I’m on the phone.

Operator: Well, as a kid, when I would get an earache, my grandmother would some spices and who knows what else to some warm olive oil and put it in my ear. Worked every time.

Patient: OWWWWWW!!! This is positively killing me! I wish I could see your grandmother right about now!

Operator: I believe that is possible. She lives only three blocks from you. I can call her to tell her you’ll be there in fifteen minutes. Will that be OK?

Patient: Oh, that would be wonderful. Thank you so much.

Operator: There’s one more thing.

Patient: What’s that?

Operator: She gets $250 per treatment, payable in cash.

UPDATE: Doug Ross was thinking along the same lines. Good stuff.

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