October 2, 2009

Excuses, Excuses.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 8:00 pm

Here are some excuses we might expect to hear for the reason Chicago didn’t make the initial cut by the International Olympic Committee.

1. “We had a really awesome presentation prepared, but the dog ate it.”

2. “We couldn’t promise a flak jacket to each athlete.”

3. “The IOC didn’t like our demand that the no medals be awarded to winners of Olympic events, because awarding medals only to winners is not fair for everyone else who competed.”

4. “Oprah gained sixty pounds during the flight to Copenhagen, and the male members of the IOC expected her to look hot.”

5. “The President demanded to give a speech at the opening ceremonies, at the closing ceremonies and after each event.”

6. “We demanded that the teams from Norway, Sweden and Denmark each include a specified number of black athletes.”

7. “We required that ACORN employees serve as judges for all events.”

8. “President Obama demanded to ‘throw out the first javelin’.”

9. “We required that all athletes wear the Obama logo at all times.”

10. “Michelle Obama passed some serious noxious gas during her presentation. Hey, it happens.”

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