October 9, 2009

The List: Then and Now. Updated.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 9:46 pm

Back in 2007, I wrote a post listing the people who, at that time, were giving me a Case of the Ass. I thought this would be a good time to revisit and revise the list as necessary. As you can see, the revised list only got longer.

Turns out that that the people who were giving me a Case of the Ass in 2007 are still giving me a Case of the Ass. Indeed, only one person was removed from the original list and that is only because he farookin’ died and can no longer give me a Case of the Ass.

Update: Bou pointed out that I forgot to cross off Ted Kennedy So that shortens the list by two, although just thinking about that creep gives me a Case of the Ass.

The Original List and the Additions Thereto.

Hillary Clinton
Bill Clinton
Barack Obama
Dick Durbin
Chuck Hagel
Chuck Schumer
Bob Menendez
Frank Lautenberg
John Edwards
Elizabeth Edwards (Yes, it is a shame that she is ill)
Dennis Kuchinich
Rosie O’Donnell
Barbara Walters
Joy Behar
Sean Penn
Madonna
Sheryl Crow
Al Gore
Daryl Hanna
Bill Moyers
Harry Reid
Nancy Pelosi
John Murtha
Jesse Jackson
Tim Russert Deceased
Lawrence O’Donnell
Ron Kuby
Barney Frank
Ted Kennedy Dead.
Cindy Sheehan
Robert Kennedy, Jr.
Jon Corzine (Yes, I’m glad he’s recovering) The jerk is all better now.
Jim McGreevey
Barbra Streisand
Sandy Berger
Dan Rather
David Gregory
Katie Couric
Chris Matthews
Eleanor Clift
John Kerry
Al Sharpton
Joe Biden
Charlie Rangel
Patrick Leahy
Chris Dodd
Jane Fonda
Barbara Boxer
Andrea Mitchell
Helen Thomas
Jonathan Alter
Bill Maher
Maureen Dowd

The Additions

Al Franken*
Michael Moore*
Paul Begala*
Whoopie Goldberg
Maxine Waters
John Cornyn John Conyers
Rahm Emmanuel
Robert Gibbs
Van Jones
Cass Sunstein
Mamoud Amademajad
Tom Brokaw
Frank Rich
Tom Friedman
Susan Sarandon
Keith Olbermann
Ed Schultz
Jeanane Garafolo
David Letterman
Rachel Maddow
Kanye West
Nobel Peace Prize Committee

As I said last time, if you need links to know who these wastes-of-oxygen are, maybe you should be on the list.

* At the time of the original post, commenters suggested that I should have included these peeps. The commenters were right.

Update: Thanks to commeter, Dangerous Dave, who questioned why John Cornyn should be on the list. Indeed, it was my mistake, made in the snit that accompanied my making the list. I had intended to include John “Who need to read the Bill” Conyers instead of John Cornyn. I have since fixed the mistake. BTW, Dave’s suggested entries are spot on.

October 8, 2009

Barocky Road Ice Cream.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 8:02 pm

I gather this has been circulating around the interwebs for a while, but sometimes I’m late getting the memo.


baracky-road-ice-creamIn honor of the 44th President of the United States , Baskin-Robbins Ice Cream has introduced a new flavor: ” Barocky Road .”
Barocky Road is a blend of half vanilla, half chocolate, and surrounded by nuts and flakes. The vanilla portion of the mix is not openly advertised and usually denied as an ingredient. The nuts and flakes are all very bitter and hard to swallow.

The cost is $100.00 per scoop.

When purchased it will be presented to you in a large beautiful cone, but then the ice cream is taken away and given to the person in line behind you.

You are left with an empty wallet and no change, holding an empty cone with no hope of getting any ice cream.

Are you stimulated?

Thanks to Gerry from Jersey

October 7, 2009

Another Blogger Published.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 8:16 pm

I always rejoice when a fellow blogger actually publishes something somewhere other than on a blog. The latest cause for celebration is our pal Carl Brannen who got one of his manuscripts accepted for publication.

I have read and thoroughly enjoyed Elisson’s book of 100-word stories and Velociman’s book about a boy’s adventure-filled journey through the underbelly of the South, but, as one who views gravity as the magical force that causes apples to fall from a tree onto one’s cruller (as opposed to sailing off into space), I have a bit of difficulty understanding Carl’s published work. Carl thinks in a space that is both foreign and completely amazing to me. It is nice to know that there are people out there who can and do think about these things.

Kudos to the Carlster.

October 6, 2009

Things I Suppose I Could Write About.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 9:43 pm

I guess the proper title should be “Things About Which I Suppose I Could Write,” but gimme a break. (Yeah, I know. Winston Churchill … “… a thing up with I will not put.”)

1. I could go on and on about David Letterman: Naah. I don’t watch his show; I don’t think he’s funny, and I don’t really give a shit who he has sex with [with whom he has sex]. The preposition thing is kicking my ass tonight.

2. I could pose the interesting question: who is the bigger asswipe — Jeanane Garafolo or Rachel Maddow? Naah, too difficult to choose. Sort of like being up to your neck in shit and someone throws a bag of snot at your head. Waddya do?

3. I could give you a blow by blow description of the sneezing fit I’m having that the moment. Naah. Boring. I am, however, properly sneezing into the portion of my arm opposite my elbow. I’m nothing if not a proper sneezer.

4. I could describe how my bottle of Mint Sweet Tea Vodka fell out of the freezer, breaking the cap and spilling half its contents on the floor. Naah. Too much of a downer; I damned near wept. Licking the floor would have been unseemly.

5. I could do a movie review. Naah. I can’t remember the last time I watched a movie.

6. I could do a scintillating piece about the exceptions to the hearsay rule codified in the Federal Rules of Evidence. Naah. That would be even more boring than the details of my sneezing fit.

7. I could confess that I always have to look up the spelling of “manual” to satisfy myself that it is not spelled “manuel.” Naah. No one cares about my chronic brain farts.

8. I could write about talking canned vegetables. Naah. The last time I was in the supermarket, the bastards wouldn’t speak to me.

9. I could write about having to take a number to wait for my turn to kick Bill Maher’s ass. Naah. The number 57,870 is boring.

10. I could skip number 10, thereby sparing you any more of this nonsense. Yep. That I can do.

October 5, 2009

Mint Sweet Tea Vodka.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 8:52 pm

firefly-mint-tea-vodkaI suspect that you are all sitting on the edges of your chairs awaiting my report on the Firefly Mint Sweet Tea Vodka tasting. Well, Pilgrim, your wait has ended.

It was excellent. It was the perfect balance between tea and mint. I say that as a guy who doesn’t like minty ice cream or chocolate and mint together in candy, or otherwise.

As I was sipping it, I remember the Joanster commenting about the very proper elderly Southern ladies buying the stuff two bottles at a time for their little gatherings and her warning them that the stuff will kick their proper Southern asses if they aren’t careful. Excellent advice, that, for the beverage is so good that one could easily overshoot the mark before the realization kicks in that it ain’t tea, but rather is ass-kicking vodka that just happens to taste like tea.

Firefly Mint Sweet Tea Vodka is definitely a keeper.

Note: The Nanny State Federal Trade Commission has recently decided that Bloggers doing product reviews must disclose any payments or freebies received from the manufacturer of the product reviewed. In keeping with the new regulation, I hereby warrant and represent that I purchased the bottle of booze in question with my own money and that I have not received any payments in cash or in kind, or any consideration whatsoever for telling you that I tasted the stuff and liked it. Of course, if the Firefly Peeps would like to send me a couple cases of the stuff, I’d be happy to let you know that.

October 4, 2009

Old, Old Friends.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 12:51 pm

Off to spend the day with some old, old friends. A few cocktails, dinner and maybe even a bit of guitar pickin’.

Maybe later, Peeps.

October 3, 2009

Yowza!

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 7:40 pm

I made what has become a regular visit to Sippican Cottage and was delighted to find an old school video of Jimmy Vaughan, Kim Wilson and the Fabulous Thunderbirds playing the hell out of a classic twelve-bar blues rocker. That put me in the mood to hear the Late, Great Stevie Ray and Brother Jimmy play together, and I came upon the video below. It is the Brothers Vaughan kickin’ ass and takin’ names playing at the same time on a double necked guitar.

Farookin’ great stuff.

Saturday Outing.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 7:07 pm

Today, I went to my favorite Mondo Wine and Liquor Emporium and spent a shitload of money on a shitload of wine and a bit of liquor, including more Firefly Sweet Tea Vodka (Be sure to check out the excellent website. Turn your speakers up!). In addition to the Lemon and Peach flavors, this time I figured I give the Mint a try (over clear ice, of course). I figure that a pilgrimage to the Firefly Distillery is in my future.

I’m doing my bit for the ailing economy.

That is all.

October 2, 2009

Excuses, Excuses.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 8:00 pm

Here are some excuses we might expect to hear for the reason Chicago didn’t make the initial cut by the International Olympic Committee.

1. “We had a really awesome presentation prepared, but the dog ate it.”

2. “We couldn’t promise a flak jacket to each athlete.”

3. “The IOC didn’t like our demand that the no medals be awarded to winners of Olympic events, because awarding medals only to winners is not fair for everyone else who competed.”

4. “Oprah gained sixty pounds during the flight to Copenhagen, and the male members of the IOC expected her to look hot.”

5. “The President demanded to give a speech at the opening ceremonies, at the closing ceremonies and after each event.”

6. “We demanded that the teams from Norway, Sweden and Denmark each include a specified number of black athletes.”

7. “We required that ACORN employees serve as judges for all events.”

8. “President Obama demanded to ‘throw out the first javelin’.”

9. “We required that all athletes wear the Obama logo at all times.”

10. “Michelle Obama passed some serious noxious gas during her presentation. Hey, it happens.”

October 1, 2009

An Unsung Good Thing.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 9:15 pm

v8-veg-juiceToday was one of those days when reading the news damned near had my eyeballs ready to explode. I feel that I’m approaching critical mass with the dumbshittery of the administration. And, don’t get me started with the state government. The worst part is that the anger spills into every farookin’ thing, to the point where I get to thinking that everything sucks.

So, I decided to spend ten seconds or so to force myself to think of a thing that doesn’t suck. There are, of course, many easy things to pick from, such as health, family, friends and stuff like that. Rather I wanted to quickly (ten seconds worth) think of an unsung Good Thing.

It came to me.

V8 vegetable juice.

It’s tasty, it has zero fat, it’s low in calories, and it is the only thing to use when making a gorilla stompin’ bloody mary.

Of course, there are some who would piss on my parade by asking, “Is V8 juice really healthy?” They bray, “It has “tooooo much sodium” and the vegetables are “reconstituted.” (I can feel the smug all over me when whoever wrote that typed the word “reconstituted.” Yo, kiss my unreconstituted ass, Smugturd.

The fact is that the “low sodium” variety of V8 tastes like ass, and I’m not interested in any of that V8 “fusion” stuff either. I’m talking about the real, unscrewed-with V8 – an Unsung Good Thing.

That is all.

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