Waiter: Good afternoon. May I take your order?
Pelosi: Yes. I want a tuna salad sandwich on whole wheat, with cole slaw on the side and a Diet Coke. Bring it as soon as possible. Iâ€™m in a hurry.
Waiter: Yes, maâ€™am.
Thirty minutes laterâ€¦
Waiter: Yes, maâ€™am. What is it?
Pelosi: I ordered my lunch a half-hour ago and itâ€™s still not here! I said I was in a hurry.
Waiter: Oh, the restaurant has deemed that you received your lunch and have eaten it.
Pelosi: Thatâ€™s ridiculous. I havenâ€™t received my order, and I havenâ€™t eaten anything.
Waiter: Perhaps I wasnâ€™t clear. The restaurant has deemed that you have already eaten your tuna salad sandwich and the side order of cole slaw and that you have finished drinking your Diet Coke.
Pelosi: What is this â€œdeemedâ€ shit?
Waiter: We figured you would know.
Waiter: Weâ€™ve also deemed that your bill is $13.75. Please pay the cashier. Have a nice day.