Waiter: Good afternoon. May I take your order?
Pelosi: Yes. I want a tuna salad sandwich on whole wheat, with cole slaw on the side and a Diet Coke. Bring it as soon as possible. I’m in a hurry.
Waiter: Yes, ma’am.
Thirty minutes later…
Waiter: Yes, ma’am. What is it?
Pelosi: I ordered my lunch a half-hour ago and it’s still not here! I said I was in a hurry.
Waiter: Oh, the restaurant has deemed that you received your lunch and have eaten it.
Pelosi: That’s ridiculous. I haven’t received my order, and I haven’t eaten anything.
Waiter: Perhaps I wasn’t clear. The restaurant has deemed that you have already eaten your tuna salad sandwich and the side order of cole slaw and that you have finished drinking your Diet Coke.
Pelosi: What is this “deemed” shit?
Waiter: We figured you would know.
Waiter: We’ve also deemed that your bill is $13.75. Please pay the cashier. Have a nice day.