March 13, 2011

Douchebaggery.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 8:04 pm

Permit me to share a couple things that have managed to frost my stindeens over the last 48 hours or so.

1. Assholes Men who toss things into urinals. Yo, shitballs, there is a wastebasket in the men’s room, and it’s not there for decorative purposes. Use it! There is absolutely no reason for throwing paper towels or your goddamned gum into the urinal. Haven’t you noticed over a lifetime of pissing in public places that urinals don’t flush the same way toilet bowels do? Doesn’t it bother you that someone has to clean that stuff out of there with their hands? What if was your mama? You ought to be horsewhipped.

2. Assholes People who work in retail establishments (particularly convenience stores) and wait on customers while talking on a cell phone. It’s bad enough when the inconsiderate bastards make it quite clear that you’re interrupting their very important conversations by, you know, actually wanting to buy something. It’s worse when their conversations are being carried on in some Third World Shithole language. The clincher is when you ask them a question, which you have to repeat once because they’re not paying attention, twice because they don’t speak English worth a shit and a third time for good measure.

This should be the rule: If you’re talking on your goddamned cell phone while customers are waiting on line, it goddamned well better be the police department, fire department or the goddamned ambulance squad. Otherwise, horsewhipping is in order.

That is all.

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