Every year, at about this time, the Usual Suspects descend upon our little corner of the Sunshine State, and this year is no exception. Iâ€™m sure that the guy in the local liquor store is looking forward to our visit, as I figure that we probably put one of his kids through college. Yes, there will be an abundance of adult beverages, lots of pool lounging and merciless kidding (a Jersey thing — e.g. “Yo, Shitstain!”).
Unfortunately, if one wants to enjoy the Florida sun and fun, one must remain aware that Florida is not only the Sunshine State; it is also the farookinâ€™ ALLIGATOR state. My morbid fear of these prehistoric, man-eating beasts is known to all who come here, except perhaps recent visitors.
Because my fear and loathing of alligators is known, my â€œpalsâ€ in the blogosphere cannot help themselves from sending me bowel-loosening links. Here are a few samples of what I’ve been receiving:
To all you
rat bastards pals who feel compelled to send me this stuff, I wish you a serious wedgie. Other than the chlorinated, fenced-in pool, I shall avoid any body of fresh water larger than the average pancake.
I plan on bringing Mr. Computer with me, and I may even do a post or two while Iâ€™m down there doing cocktails and keeping my eye out for large, green, pre-historic, man-eating things. If not, play nice while Iâ€™m gone.