July 9, 2009

Nancy’s Tweets.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 8:46 pm

PRS Operatives, ever on the lookout for the inside scoop, have managed to gain access to Nancy Pelosi’s Tweets. For those of you not familiar with reading Tweets, the most recent entry is on top. Here is a sample:

pelosi SpeakerNan Where the f**k is the Domino’s guy?

pelosi SpeakerNan I just felt my own ass. OMG it’s awesome!

pelosi SpeakerNan Then there was the time with Jefferson Airplane and the Wesson Oil. Freakin’ awesome!

pelosi SpeakerNan Did you know that I loved Jim Morrison two times? It was in a car parked near Fisherman’s Wharf. It’s true.

pelosi SpeakerNan Publisher of my book called wanting 2 charge me to dispose of 3 truckloads of books. Prick, I asked him how he would like an IRS audit. LOL

pelosi SpeakerNan Just farted and it sounded like a blender does when you drop some really thick shit in it while it’s running. Cracked me up.

pelosi SpeakerNan Speaking of my kitty, damned thing itches. What’s up with that?

pelosi SpeakerNan Franken will fit right in around here. The day he was sworn in he came to my office and asked if he could touch my kitty. Smart boy.

pelosi SpeakerNan Listening to bootlegs of the Dead, while doing some herbal inhalation therapy, if you get my drift.

10 Comments »

  1. LMAO! You are the master! 😀

    Comment by pam — July 9, 2009 @ 9:44 pm

  2. I never suspected she’d do her own tweets. I thought she’d have an underling do it for her so she could claim innocence. 🙂
    I need an underling.

    Comment by LeeAnn — July 9, 2009 @ 10:15 pm

  3. “Just farted and it sounded like a blender does when you drop some really thick shit in it while it’s running. Cracked me up”.

    JUST DAMN! You are so damn funny, Jimbo!

    Thanks for the laugh!

    Comment by Lee — July 9, 2009 @ 11:50 pm

  4. The image of Al Franken touching Pelosi’s kitty is just too much for words.

    Comment by Robbie Rob — July 10, 2009 @ 8:27 am

  5. “Just checked out my butt in the mirror. It’s awesome!! But why does it have teeth?”

    Comment by Charlie — July 10, 2009 @ 10:19 am

  6. The blender line made me LOL. And trust me, not much does these days.

    Comment by dogette — July 10, 2009 @ 1:25 pm

  7. Loved these:

    “SpeakerNan Did you know that I loved Jim Morrison two times? It was in a car parked near Fisherman’s Wharf. It’s true”

    …it was the only way he could mask the smell.

    Comment by hammer — July 10, 2009 @ 1:47 pm

  8. Yup. And when Jim Morrison sobered up, he drowned his own self.

    Comment by Dave S. — July 10, 2009 @ 2:51 pm

  9. You farook’n crack me up!!!
    Pure gold Jimbo!

    Comment by Maeve — July 10, 2009 @ 7:49 pm

  10. SpeakerNan Where the f*ck are those Special Forces guys General whats-his-name promised? I need some “close order drill”, here!

    Comment by Dave Merriman — July 11, 2009 @ 12:21 pm

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