August 31, 2009

“A Trip of Goats” — A Win.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 8:34 pm

“A Trip of Goats,” the novel by our fellow blogger and real-life buddy, Kim Crawford (a/k/a “Velociman”), is a trip that should be taken by anyone who enjoys a compelling story, full of local color and very colorful characters.

The journey of twelve-year old Jubal Lee Jackson (“They call me ‘Jule’”) takes us through rural Georgia in the sixties and includes places that I doubt are pitched by the state travel bureau. While the geography and raw culture of those places and of that time may be unfamiliar to many, the questions for which young Jule sought answers are not.

I was most taken with the cast of memorable characters that, in most cases, defy a good-guy, bad-guy dichotomy. They range from Jule’s father, the “Senator,” who is a perfect mixture of Darth Vader, W.C. Fields and a pinch of Algonquin J. Calhoun (in whiteface) to the Futch Brothers, who are at once hilarious, profoundly stupid and rotten to the core.

I eagerly turned the pages to see what calamities would next befall young Jule and those who are hot on his trail.

Thank you, Mr. Crawford, for a great read.

August 30, 2009

Left or Right?

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 3:01 pm

No, this post has nothing to do with politics. It’s a nice Sunday afternoon, and I’m trying to do a one-day political detox. Rather, this has to do with wristwatches.

I have always worn mine on my left wrist. Being right-handed and being old enough to remember when one had to wind a wristwatch, it seemed to make sense to leave one’s dominant hand with easy access to the watch’s stem to permit the regular need to turn the stem back and forth to put the tension in the mainspring that permitted the gadget to function.

Perhaps the watchmakers of the world didn’t see a big enough market for watches with the stem next to the “9” for left-handers (although some manufacturers take a different view). I must admit that I never paid much attention to the wrist chosen by left-handers for watch wearing, other than thinking back to my mother who was a southpaw. As I recall, she wore her watch on her left wrist. Maybe she took it off to wind it; I just don’t remember.

Now, I’ve noticed lots of people wearing their wristwatches on their right wrist. I doubt as many people did this when watches had to be wound, but I lack empirical data. Is this the case, because regular winding is not longer necessary? After all, one needs access to the watch’s stem only twice per year to accommodate daylight saving time changes and, for watches with a date function, only five times per year to account for those months with fewer than thirty-one days.

Wearing a watch on one’s non-dominant hand seems natural to me, but that may be because I’ve never for one second thought about wearing it on my right wrist.

So, I ask these penetrating questions: On which wrist to you wear your wristwatch? Is your wrist of choice your dominant or non-dominant hand? Why is it your wrist of choice?

Isn’t this easier on the cruller than thinking about politics and the potential death of the Republic on a nice Sunday afternoon?

August 29, 2009


Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 3:46 pm

Rainy, lousy outside. Busy doing stuff, and there is a birthday party to attend later.

Maybe later, maybe tomorrow, Peeps.

August 28, 2009

Something for the Oenophiles Amongst Youse.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 7:46 pm

The next time you are at a Bring-Your-Own-Bottle restaurant, you can dazzle your dinner companions by unveiling a bottle of this. Pour it with a gloved hand, and then bust a badass move.

Thanks to Karen from Karbon Kounty Moos for the link

August 27, 2009

Free-Floating Case of the Ass.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 10:05 pm

Yes, Peeps, at the moment I am harboring a Free-Floating Case of the Ass. Every farookin’ thing seems to be getting on my last nerve. I’ve suffered this malady before, and, much as it was the last time, I’m having difficulty pinpointing exactly what is causing it. The best I can do is tick off a few things that might play a role:

The media slobberfest over Ted Kennedy.

We have Nancy Pelosi, as Joan described it so perfectly, “dragging dead Teddy through the political streets like some horrid war trophy.” KennedyCare! KennedyCare! Good grief.

It’s no problemo (or, at worst, a only a minor problemo) if Tim Geithner and Charlie Rangel don’t pay their taxes, while Tim Geithner’s IRS screws everyone else by enforcing laws written by Charlie Rangel.

Sandy Berger never went to goddamned jail for stealing documents from the National Archives.

The Senate “investigation” cleared Chris Dodd of any wrongdoing, and the Justice Department has decided to close down a grand jury investigation of Bill Richardson. I’m guessing no one asked Hillary about that.

Elected officials are referring to American people exercising their First Amendment rights as swastika carriers, members of unruly mobs, and much worse.

No one in his or her right mind would now work as an interrogator for the CIA, knowing that a new administration may turn the Justice Department loose on you.

We have at least 3+ more years to endure The One and his pack of rogues.

Most of television remains a “vast wasteland.”

Network news is a pathetic joke.

Summer is almost over.


That is all.

August 26, 2009

Ted Kennedy.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 9:21 pm

You know, I thought quite a bit about what to write about the death of Ted Kennedy. In fact, I spent so much time mulling it over that I didn’t think about anything else I might write today. A little while ago, I came to the conclusion that I shall say nothing about his death, trusting that, given what I have said about him in the past, my silence will be more meaningful than anything I might say today.

So, I shall simply say nothing.

That is all.

August 25, 2009

Off the Top of My Cruller.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 8:57 pm

1. I often see people write the word “Woot!” as a celebratory exclamation, but does anyone actually say “Woot!”?

2. If everyone were to buy one of those cutting-edge electric plug-in cars and then everyone were to plug them in, where would all the electricity come from if we close down the coal mines?

3. Twice on the way home from work, I encountered assholes who decided they wanted to stop the car and carry on a conversation with people standing on the sidewalk, and they didn’t much give a shit that they were blocking the farookin’ street. That’s when a rocket launcher would come in handy.

4. The best diet sodas are Diet Dr. Pepper and Coke Zero. By the way, in New Jersey, don’t call it “pop” or “tonic” or “coke” (unless you really want a Coke). “Pop,” sounds particularly silly to me.

5. Speaking of soda, it has been my experience that once one gets one-hundred miles from New Jersey or New York, it is exceedingly difficult, if not impossible, to find seltzer. No, I’m not talking about club soda. Seltzer is carbonated water, while club soda is carbonated water with sodium bicarbonate in it.

6. One appliance I’d have a tough time doing without is my Keurig single cup coffee maker (the Platinum Model). I buy the coffee online, sticking to the extra bold, gorilla stompin’ varieties.

7. I promised myself that this little bit of mental wandering would not deal with politics, but my difficult-to-manage rage with the douchebaggery of the current administration and with the federal government in general has broken through and screwed up this meaningful interlude with youse peeps. I shall stop writing now.

August 24, 2009

A Puzzle!

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 8:37 pm

As some of you know, from time to time, I like to take a peek into what our friend Carl Brannen has on his mind.

Bonus. His latest entry is a puzzle, although it is not exactly Sudoku.

For my part, I can’t help but wonder if the “0.33” should be “0.331.”

Carl rocks.

August 23, 2009

Hillary’s Original Draft.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 1:40 pm

We at PRS have learned that Secretary of State Hillary Clinton recently wrote a letter to the President sharing some thoughts on her current position. The always-resourceful PRS Operatives managed to come up with the original draft of the letter, possibly written while Secretary Clinton was suffering from some form of Congolese ca-ca trots.

Dear Asshole President Obama:

I’m writing to you because I’ve called several times and you are obviously ducking my f*cking calls, you miserable prick I was told you were very busy with an active meeting schedule. What bullshit! I completely understand the demands of your job. You probably won’t even take the time to read this, you rat bastard. As such, I trust that a letter may fit more easily into your busy schedule.

Since you screwed me out of the nomination and then managed to bullshit me into taking this shitty job (I must have been seriously stoned at the time),Since you were gracious enough in victory to afford me opportunity to serve in your administration as Secretary of State, you’ve sent me to every God-forsaken shithole in the world you’ve given me several interesting assignments. Then you had the balls demonstrated your astute leadership skills by having my asshole husband go to North Korea to grab all the goddamned headlines to handle a sensitive mission of mercy.

I’ve frankly had it with your underhanded horseshit.I remain honored and happy to serve as your Secretary of State. I damned near died from eating the elephant meat or whatever-the-hell it was in the freakin’ Congo and got punked by some half-assed translator. I successfully completed the diplomatic mission to the Congo, but don’t even think about sending me back to that armpit of a country and I look forward to undertaking future missions, maybe something more important than a local dog fight, perhaps an international summit.

I have to stop writing, because I am still shitting my brains out from that whatever-the-hell-it was they fed me in Africa.I believe I have taken enough of your valuable time, and I truly appreciate your listening.

Screw you!Very truly yours,


P.S. I swear, if one more of your goddamned czars tells me what to do, I’ll rip his goddamned heart out.

P.P.S. Just between us girls, your healthcare plan sucks. Mine was waaaaaaay better.

August 22, 2009

Judicial Kudos.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 2:25 pm

crunchberriesA huge shout out and major props to U.S. District Court Judge Morrison England, Jr. of the Eastern District of California. Here’s why.

A woman sued the manufacturer of Cap’n Crunch’s Crunch Berries cereal claiming under California law that she was mislead by the packaging and marketing of the product into believing that the cereal contained real berries (crunchberries?). The woman had been buying (and presumably eating) Cap’n Crunch’s Crunch Berries cereal for four years before filing suit.

In dismissing the claim, Judge England stated, “The survival of the instant claim would require this Court to ignore all concepts of personal responsibility and common sense. The Court has no intention of allowing that to happen.”

Nice going, Judge England.

There are more details at Lowering the Bar.

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