February 18, 2005

Seafood.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 9:34 pm

Fish Dinner.jpgI don’t like seafood.

I know that, in this regard, I am an outlier. My experience is that most people do like seafood, including most of the folks listed over there on the left, some of whom have written lovingly about eating fish and the like. This is not to disparage seafood lovers. I celebrate your love of seafood. I just hate the stuff.

To me, seafood smells (and therefore tastes) like a tackle box smells and how I would imagine a tackle box would taste – “fishy.” I know…I know…You’re thinking, ”Yo, Jimbo, that’s because you haven’t eaten fresh fish. Fresh fish doesn’t taste ‘fishy’.” Well, I have tried “fresh fish,” and while it may not taste “fishy,” it doesn’t taste like anything, so what’s the point? And, if there is a touch of “fishy” remaining, the idea is to cover it up with lemon, paprika, tartar sauce, garlic, Tabasco, butter and Christ knows what else. Again, I ask, what’s the point?

And, then there is sushi. Jesus! The chef can make it look pretty like candy, but it’s still Raw Fish!! If one has to eat the stuff, it ought to at least be cooked. Hell, civilized people have been cooking food ever since some knuckle walker first harnessed fire. So why, all of a sudden, is eating raw farookin’ fish the rage? I tried raw fish (sashimi) once (I was really, really drunk at the time – honest, I really I was), and it tasted just as I imagined it would. FAROOKIN’ BAIT!!

Not surprisingly, if I cannot stand the thought of eating raw seafood, the thought of eating it while it is STILL ALIVE completely grosses me out. I’m talking about those people (including members of my own family) who slurp down raw clams and oysters. Dash (permalink is fried – see 2/9 post) and Rob have both written about eating raw oysters and the joy of chewing those live units. Gentlemen, you can have mine. To me, that’s life raft chow.

As I said, I know that I am in the minority on this issue, and I have gone so far as to learn to swallow without gagging eat shrimp (usually fried and doused with lemon juice and slathered with tartar sauce), just so I can go to seafood restaurants with seafood eaters and not look like a complete jyerrrrrkoff by ordering the “Landlubber’s Special.”

Don’t even think about getting me started about gott-damned crabs!

29 Comments »

  1. Seafood…

    Jim at Parkway Rest Stop discusses his hatred for seafood in this article. He ends by saying “Don’t even think about getting me started about gott-damned crabs!”

    I love crabs. I’ve had them boiled, stuffed, fried, barbecues, and their meat st…

    Trackback by Mostly Cajun, All American and Opinionated — February 18, 2005 @ 10:23 pm

  2. Thank goodness – another person who hates seafood! I can’t stand it. Ew.

    Comment by Kate — February 18, 2005 @ 10:27 pm

  3. Damn, Jim. What happened to you when you were a young boy learning what was good to eat and what wasn’t? Did you have a bad experience with some renegade lobsters that terrorized you? I guess everybody has their likes and dislikes. Hell, I even know people who wouldn’t eat peanut butter if it was the last thing left to eat on earth. Believe it or not.

    Comment by Dash — February 18, 2005 @ 10:29 pm

  4. Dash -

    People who don’t like peanut butter are not to be trusted. Un-American finks, I say.

    Comment by Jim - Parkway Rest Stop — February 18, 2005 @ 10:32 pm

  5. And, to Jim, I blow a great big raspberry! Ppppffffftttttt! LOL

    As much as I love seafood (and, I wrote a post about it, too) I really don’t care for sushi, either. I’ve tried it. And, tried it. And, tried it again. Just to see if maybe I was missing something. I wasn’t. There is no flavor. Well, unless you use that dynamite called Wasabi. Gawdholydamn! That stuff is HOT.

    Just gimme a big ole frahd catfish. Or a pile of raw oysters. Mmmmmmm.

    Comment by Pammy — February 18, 2005 @ 10:47 pm

  6. Unless peanut butter is stuffed inside a Reese cup the only thing it’s good for is sticking it to the roof of your dog’s mouth.

    You might as well spread mud on your bread.

    Comment by Randy — February 18, 2005 @ 11:21 pm

  7. Randy -

    Man, that’s cold.

    When I’m King, there will be special camps established for people who don’t like peanut butter. Don’t worry, ther’ll be movies and stuff, but you just won’t be able to leave to be among proper peanut butter eating Americans.

    Comment by Jim - Parkway Rest Stop — February 18, 2005 @ 11:27 pm

  8. I’m on your side, Jim – though I’ll confess to the occasional Fish Sticks when I’m *really hungry*. Otherwise, forget it. Had to laugh – I just finished a nice peanut butter & honey sandwich for a midnight snack :-)

    Comment by DMerriman — February 19, 2005 @ 3:38 am

  9. Lemons and tarter sauce on shrimp? That’s for fish. You need cocktail sauce for shrimp. No wonder you hated it!

    Comment by bogie — February 19, 2005 @ 6:35 am

  10. We’re still friends, Jim…

    Just tell me you like beef.

    ; )

    Comment by Christina — February 19, 2005 @ 7:58 am

  11. So I guess a clown juggling live crabs would be just about your worst nightmare wouldn’t it?

    I love seafood, especially sushi. A little wasabi, a little pickled ginger. Man, thems good eats! But I won’t touch catfish. I just as soon eat a buzzard. That’s pretty much heresy around these parts….gets me shunned it does.

    Comment by Rita — February 19, 2005 @ 8:02 am

  12. So I guess this means there won’t be any seafood at Da Jersey BlogMeet? Dang. Alaskan King Crab is my favorite food. I could eat that and only that for the rest of my life and be happy.

    Comment by Shamrock — February 19, 2005 @ 9:05 am

  13. It’s a good thing I liked seafood, or I would have starved when i was a kid. BUT, I do not like sushi, sasumi or anything uncooked. I travel a lot to Japan, and I must say, it’s pretty gross!! I’ll have to write a post about eating fish that was still flapping it’s tail and opening/closing it’s mouth! Yuk, I had to be REAL drunk to taste that one!

    Comment by Michele — February 19, 2005 @ 9:05 am

  14. I can’t believe that I’m the first person to comment on the “I have gone so far as to learn to swallow without gagging” line. Hmmm…

    With that out of the way, live oysters are no problem for me. I’d cheerfully eat live koala bears if they tasted good.

    Comment by zonker — February 19, 2005 @ 9:43 am

  15. Seafood haters of the world unite. I have to confess I hate seafood with very few exceptions. It does not matter what they do to it, all it takes is one whiff of that fishy smell (and its always there) for me to want to throw my cookies. I can be eating the best steak on the planet at a fish joint with the spousal unit (the things we do for spouses) and I’ll get a whiff of that fishy smell and the entire meal is ruined. At that point I can’t even choke down fishy smelling steak.

    I just don’t see the attraction of eating something that smells like dead fishermans a**.

    Comment by Azygos — February 19, 2005 @ 11:37 am

  16. I feel very sad for Deb, who is mildly allergic to shellfish, and I hope my daughter has no such reaction so she can eat shrimp and scallops with me.

    Anyway, I appreciate your aversion, because it saves more for the rest of us. Don’t feel bad about not fitting in. To paraphrase a famous cheese eating primate, “let Jim eat steak.”

    Comment by Jay — February 19, 2005 @ 12:00 pm

  17. He'll Have The Turf, Hold The Surf

    Jim doesn't like seafood. Silly guy. This led to my leaving an amusing comment, which I read to Deb at her behest. She should know better when I use that tone of laugh. That led her to surmise I would link to it to highlight my own cleverness. …

    Trackback by Accidental Verbosity — February 19, 2005 @ 12:32 pm

  18. Well, I like seafood – but it is a bit rough finding it fresh here in Montana. When it’s offered in restaurants here – I always ask, “Is that halibut (sole, whatever) fresh from the Yellowstone or Stillwater?”

    Sushi – ehhh – maybe in a Japanese place in NYC – but no way I’m eating it in Montana, sorry…

    I’ve had the same jar of pb in my fridge for years – I use it for baiting mousetraps.

    So Jim, I’d imagine that all the butter in the world wouldn’t help with escargot – even if they aren’t seafood – they’re just slugs with shells, right?

    Comment by moos — February 19, 2005 @ 12:47 pm

  19. To each his own. A lot of my northern friends don’t like seafood for some reason. Maybe it’s those syringes that used to wash up on the beaches. I personally believe that mayonnaise is the “devil’s food.” In addition, I despise yogurt and balsamic vinegar. I also draw the line at raw anything-at least steam the freakin’ germs off the thing before you eat it.

    Comment by David Spence — February 19, 2005 @ 1:07 pm

  20. The wife is allergic to shell-fish, which is no biggie since she only eats ricecakes and garbonzo beans.

    Me, it’s a wonder I eat any swimmer since I got almost nothing but fish sticks as a kid.

    Sushi, no. Striper, yes. PB, oh, yes.

    Jimbo, how about Thai shrimp with PB sauce?

    Comment by Sluggo — February 19, 2005 @ 1:52 pm

  21. Ewwwww…seafood. I’m with ya, Jim.

    Comment by david — February 19, 2005 @ 3:25 pm

  22. I agree %100. About all I can manage is fish and chips and the fish has to have enough malt vinegar for it to swim in. An occaisional shrimp and a tuna sandwich, and I’m through my ‘fish I will eat’ list :)

    As a child, I’d go fishing with my father (I even won a fishing contest once) but I never ate what I caught. That meant more for my father and brother.

    Comment by Ith — February 19, 2005 @ 3:57 pm

  23. The Genius of Jim . . .

    at Parkway Rest Stop is only partly that he is a good writer. Mostly he’s good at finding weird crap that, for some reason, people want to talk about.

    Trackback by Sluggo Needs a Nap — February 19, 2005 @ 4:27 pm

  24. mmmmm, escargot. I made my dad barf once by describing some escargot I’d eaten.

    Comment by Rita — February 19, 2005 @ 7:59 pm

  25. Hmmm… I like some seafood like salmon and tilapia, love crab, hate hate hate shrimp, adore scallops, I’ve eaten catfish but it doesn’t do much for me, and have never had sushi or any of it’s close neighbors

    As for peanut butter… only on a PB&J sandwich – otherwise, no thanks.

    Guess that sorta puts me in the middle of it all.

    Comment by Teresa — February 19, 2005 @ 8:07 pm

  26. Escargot? — EscarNOOOO!!!!!

    Comment by Jim - Parkway Rest Stop — February 19, 2005 @ 8:54 pm

  27. I’m with you on the sushi and oysters. Ick! Gross. No, not on this girls plate!

    Comment by Tammi — February 20, 2005 @ 9:31 am

  28. seafood

    I like this guy, and as a blog-friend, I reserve the right to call him, full of shit on this…

    Trackback by Gut Rumbles — February 21, 2005 @ 9:21 pm

  29. Fish Is Good For The Soul

    Cooked or Raw, it doesn’t matter to me. I read this and this, and it made me think of the extreme. I absolutely love fresh Sushi. I had some down on Pike Street in Seattle the other day that was…

    Trackback by The Brier Patch — February 21, 2005 @ 10:03 pm

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