December 29, 2005

Some Troubling Thoughts.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 12:41 pm

There is nothing like a walk in the chilly rain to spawn some troubling thoughts. Here are a few of them:

1. These days, all my grammar school teachers are either very old or very dead.

2. Daytime television may even be worse now than it was when my grammar school teachers were in their prime.

3. I can’t imagine how many millions of kids don’t know what coal is. “Coal in my stocking? Is that a video game?”

4. I wonder how many people under 40 know what the term “church key” refers to.

5. People actually watch the Jerry Springer Show.

6. Jon Corzine will soon be sworn in as Governor of the State of New Jersey.

7. Bob Menendez, selected by New Jersey’s political bosses Jon Corzine, will become one of my U.S. Senators.

8. My other U.S. Senator is still the cadaverous Frank Lautenberg, who, as you will recall, parachuted into the race for Senate when Bob “the Torch” Torricelli bailed out amidst charges of him being waist-deep in corruption.

9. Hillary is laying in wait.

10. Some peple have been divulging classified information to the New York Times, which when published, increased the danger to me, my family, my friends and all of us who live in or near “the most dangerous two miles in America.”

h/t to Mr. Snitch for the Post Article


  1. I was thinking about “churchkeys” the other day. Couldn’t skip school and go to the shore without everyone of the guys showing their churchkey was in their pocket.

    Comment by MCPO Airdale — December 29, 2005 @ 7:38 pm

  2. Corzine is only number six? He’s got tax raises stacked up over the airport, all they need to do is sit him down so they can start landing. Hillary, at least, isn’t going anywhere. Most of the country views her as a political opportunist. Know why? ‘Cause anyone else who was nationally humiliated by her husband with some two-bit floozie would have served him a very public dressing down and divorce papers. But Hillary didn’t see that as a good career move. Scary? You betcha.

    Comment by Mr. Snitch! — December 29, 2005 @ 11:23 pm

  3. After reading your list, I’ll bet that your grammer school teachers who are dead are much happier.

    Comment by Dan — December 30, 2005 @ 2:43 am

  4. You have got to put some uplifting music on the iPod ou use when you go for a walk in the morning. (You do use some walking music, don’t you?) All of these thoughts are indeed scary and frightening.

    Number 8 has had me pissed off for a couple of years now. (And he’ll run for reelection!?! What the F* has he done while in office?)

    As for Number 10…Why isn’t anyone being investigated or in jail for this leak? I want them by the thumbs, baby, by the thumbs.
    Or maybe the investigation is going on but no one is telling us that, yet.

    Comment by joated — December 30, 2005 @ 7:59 am

  5. And again with that age thing! (See #1-4 on your list.) Stop being so maudlin, dammit! (You’re reminding me how old I am, too. My teachers have passed, I know what coal is, and I have several church keys in the drawer. (Though my pocket knife has a very serviceable opener for cans and bottles, thank you.))
    Get some Sousa Marches (or Williams for that matter) ripped onto that iPod.

    Comment by joated — December 30, 2005 @ 8:36 am

  6. Well, you managed to make me feel better about having left NJ. Of course, MI politicians are not something to brag about, but not nearly as amazing.

    However, I am over 40 (44), and I am ashamed to admit I have no idea what church keys are?

    Comment by JCK — December 30, 2005 @ 9:10 am

  7. Joated,

    Nope. No iPod, and no music. I walk in town, and I need both eyes and both ears to keep from being run down by one of our courteous and careful drivers. If I walked on a track or a treadmill (blecch), I would listen to music. However, as much as I love music, I often get blogging ideas or mentally formulate posts while walking, and music would likely screw that up.

    Oh, and for those who don’t know (I know you do), a church key is an old-fashioned can opener. Used to be you needed one to open beer cans.

    Comment by Jim - Parkway Rest Stop — December 30, 2005 @ 11:13 am

  8. Jim,
    Thanks. Church key. Heh. I really did not know. My dad was not much of a beer drinker, and my mom was more of a scotch drinker. By the time I was old enough to drink, pop tops were available, and I switched to other spirits soon after. But I do really like that euphemism.

    Comment by JCK — December 30, 2005 @ 4:37 pm

  9. Church key, sure – and what about the elusive Coney Island Whitefish?

    Comment by Elisson — December 30, 2005 @ 10:09 pm

  10. Ah, yes…. The Coney Island Whitefish. We used see small schools of them from the Rye Beach boat.

    Comment by Jim - Parkway Rest Stop — December 30, 2005 @ 10:12 pm

  11. One tiny quibble with your titling/labeling. I would say numbers 9 and 10 weren’t just “troubling” thoughts. Aren’t they more like “go fill the old clawfoot bathtub with water, turn on some real depressing music, get into the tub, and then drop in 6 hot toaster-ovens” thoughts?

    Comment by dogette — December 30, 2005 @ 11:38 pm

  12. MCPO, maybe I haven’t been paying attention at Sondra’s, but I didn’t know you’re an East-Coaster.

    Remember when pull-tabs first came out, and half the time they didn’t work, and you ended up having to open the goddam beer with a screwdriver, or something? Good times.

    Comment by CraigC — December 31, 2005 @ 1:26 am


    Jim of Parkway Rest Stop offhandedly mention that knowing what a “church key” is is a sign that you’re probably over 40, which naturally sparked some discussion in the comments about what a “church key” is. Jim says it’s a…

    Trackback by Bad Example — January 7, 2006 @ 9:43 pm

  14. I’m 31 and I know what a church key is. We used them in Scouts all the time. Dang things where hard on the fingers.

    Comment by Contagion — January 8, 2006 @ 10:47 am

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