December 27, 2006

Jimbo’s Deli.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 5:09 pm

Deli Sandwich.jpgTaking a cue from the famous Stage Deli in New York City, which names its sandwiches after famous people, Jimbo’s Deli is pleased to offer the following for your dining pleasure:

The Hillary
A jaw-dropping portion of thigh meat, covered with our special “Pretty-in-Pink” sauce and topped with a extra-thick slice of baloney.

The Ted Kennedy
Piles of fatty corned beef, covered with limburger cheese and served between two slices of doughy bread, and the whole thing is marinated in Chivas Regal Scotch. Special Chivas Regal dipping sauce is optional.

The John Kerry
Note: Please check with your server, as the contents of this sandwich change daily, sometimes hourly. However, the “John Kerry” is always served between two warmed over stale waffles.

The Jimmy Carter
Fresh-killed goat, Palestinian figs and chopped peanuts served on anything but Zionist Jewish rye.

The Nancy Pelosi
Special San Francisco hummus layered between two slices of multi-grain flatbread. Note: We regret that the law does not permit us to serve Speaker Pelosi’s “special seasonings”, but you are invited to bring your own. Be sure to plan on a big dessert.”

The Britney Spears
A plain taco. Tuna is optional.

12 Comments »

  1. Ew. Barfatollah.

    I’ll take a raincheck and bathe in slugs and vermin instead.

    Comment by Erica — December 27, 2006 @ 7:37 pm

  2. i am totally inept after reading erica’s comment, frickin’ hilarious! oh, and i loved the jimmy carter. zionist bread indeed!!

    Comment by shoe — December 27, 2006 @ 7:47 pm

  3. you owe me a new keyboard for that last one. i should know better than to be drinking anything when i visit here!

    Comment by gregor — December 27, 2006 @ 7:48 pm

  4. [...] SK read this to me over the phone, so she gets the kudos for digging it out of the blogosphere. [...]

    Pingback by Chromed Curses — December 27, 2006 @ 9:01 pm

  5. Simply Classic.

    Comment by Craig — December 27, 2006 @ 9:22 pm

  6. Hysterical, and great for the waistline. I’ve completely lost my appetite!

    Comment by Shamrock — December 27, 2006 @ 10:44 pm

  7. As a native (albeit former) NYer, LOL here. thanx, i needed that

    GP in Montana

    Comment by GP — December 27, 2006 @ 11:30 pm

  8. And then there’s the Elisson. A couple of slices of cheese on a bed of bullshit…with mustard.

    ‘Cause nothing improves the taste of a bullshit sammitch like mustard.

    Comment by Elisson — December 28, 2006 @ 11:40 am

  9. I take it you are not a fan of Nancy Pelosi.

    Comment by Kevin Burke — December 28, 2006 @ 1:48 pm

  10. Jim,

    I did mistake you for Uncle Jimbo, sorry. Glad to have found your blog anyway.

    Comment by Seaspook — December 28, 2006 @ 3:52 pm

  11. Elisson… it’s the bullshit that clumps ‘em… right?

    Jim – you so need to open a deli. ROFLMAO!

    Comment by Teresa — December 29, 2006 @ 6:21 pm

  12. Too damn funny, Jimbo. Again.

    Comment by zonker — January 3, 2007 @ 10:54 pm

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