May 1, 2007

My Considerate Friends and Readers.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 9:30 pm

Apparently of the mind that I need a regular purging of the bowels, you peeps delight in sending me pictures of these farookin’ pre-historic beasts appearing in places where you know I soon will be. Then there are those who send me pictures for the pure joy of scaring the dogshit out of me, such as, Maeve who sent me an e-mail directing me to this picture. And, yes that is a pig in its mouth.

Let’s not forget KeesKennis, who obviously took perverse pleasure in posting this and suggesting that I might want this guy’s croc-feeding gig.

What did I ever do to you insensitive shitballs to deserve this? Let me answer that for you. NOTHING!

May all you sadists who take joy in sending me pictures of giant man-eating reptiles have a case of itchy heiney in a public place and may every single one of you get stuck in Jersey traffic behind a New York driver. Call 1-800-REPTILES. Don’t call me.

Bastards.

24 Comments »

  1. A) I never prey on a person’s fears, and would actively defend your honor, even though…ah, never mind.

    B) The bit about New York drivers. What’d, you think I wouldn’t notice? You’re trying to bait me, but I ain’t takin’. Bite this, scaredy cat.

    Comment by Erica — May 1, 2007 @ 10:13 pm

  2. well, I did tell you to stay in the car!

    Comment by caltechgirl — May 1, 2007 @ 10:13 pm

  3. E,

    Just about all those things are accurate, which is why New York drivers simply don’t pack the gear to drive in the Garden State, and when they do drive into New Jersey to see the “New York” Giants and the “New York” Jets play in NEW JERSEY, they clog the shit out of the highways scratching their New York asses in the left lane.

    Jimbo

    Comment by Jim — May 1, 2007 @ 10:34 pm

  4. I never want to go to Florida for a reason. Heck. I don’t want to go to the lower South for that reason.

    New York drivers suck! Yes…they drive the left lane at like 25 mph and look at you like you are crazy for wanting to at least do the speed limit.

    Comment by RT — May 1, 2007 @ 10:40 pm

  5. .. oooohhh, SHE is ‘E’ now?…. you bloody wimp…..

    …. get a grip now, man.. and let us venture down to Catfish’s place with shotguns… we’ll cure your phobia AND have some good eats…

    Comment by Eric — May 1, 2007 @ 11:06 pm

  6. Sleep with one eye open in Texas, Jimbo, unless you want to look in the mirror one of those mornings and revisit the Dark Days of the Basic Training Haircut.

    Bloody wimp is right.

    “E”

    Comment by Erica — May 1, 2007 @ 11:19 pm

  7. Hell, they’re just a bunch of lizards, waiting to become boots.

    Comment by dick — May 1, 2007 @ 11:28 pm

  8. You know who your friends are by the way they treat your fears.

    Comment by hoosierboy — May 1, 2007 @ 11:31 pm

  9. I hear they taste like chicken.

    Comment by Jerry — May 2, 2007 @ 12:18 am

  10. Aw, man, like dick said, they’re just boots on the hoof.

    Comment by Walrilla — May 2, 2007 @ 1:47 am

  11. With beeeautifull reaction like this, it’s not gonna stop Jimbo.
    If you shoot one I would like a pair, size 10 please.
    LOL.

    Comment by Keeskennis — May 2, 2007 @ 1:50 am

  12. Anyway, you’re going to Kerrville. It’s not like gators hang out at the bars there.

    Of course with that said, they can eat.
    http://snopes.com/photos/animals/gatordeer.asp#photo

    http://snopes.com/photos/animals/graphics/gatordeer01.jpg

    Comment by dick — May 2, 2007 @ 8:38 am

  13. “I hear they taste like chicken.”

    That’s what they said. :-O

    Comment by Thomas Pfau — May 2, 2007 @ 8:42 am

  14. Oh, man, forgot to tell you, Jimbo, the girls and I had fried gator bites the other night in a restaurant in San Antonio. YUMMY!

    I’m thinking I need to meet you at the airport when Jerry comes by to pick you up!!

    ; )

    Comment by Christina — May 2, 2007 @ 10:22 am

  15. Now, what kind of bastidge would try to fwighten you, Jimbo?

    Comment by Elisson — May 2, 2007 @ 12:20 pm

  16. “may every single one of you get stuck in Jersey traffic behind a New York driver” People don’t realize what a wicked wish that is! Well done!

    Just this morning I was stuck behind some clueless hotshot in a slow boat cruising along at 55mph. Bridge and Tunnel People, my ass – we’re the Turnpike and Parkway people. Get moving or get over!

    Comment by Suzette — May 2, 2007 @ 12:45 pm

  17. Actually, in San Antonio, this is what you really need to worry about.

    Comment by Christina — May 2, 2007 @ 1:02 pm

  18. Actually, Christina…they have that in Jersey, too…it’s called The Meadowlands, which is where Jimbo’s BFBCC car will end up, right next to Jimmy Hoffa, if he doesn’t apologize and acknowledge that he is full of boooshit and knows not of what he boooshits.

    Comment by Erica — May 2, 2007 @ 1:41 pm

  19. It’s a two-fer, Erica, first the rains come to flood the roadways in a flash, then once your car is washed off the road, you have to decide whether to sink and drown or swim and be eaten.

    I’m sure it Freudian, somehow. You know how we love Yankees down here.

    ; )

    Comment by Christina — May 2, 2007 @ 3:14 pm

  20. It’s not really the critters ya have to watch out for down here. It’s the midgets. Well, the midgets and Pirates.
    One false move…

    Comment by Dick — May 2, 2007 @ 5:42 pm

  21. Well, at least the circus won’t be in town… Will it?

    Comment by jck — May 2, 2007 @ 10:40 pm

  22. […] get the feeling Jimbo’s not too happy with me. I guess, I could bring a peace offering, lest he decide to […]

    Pingback by justdotchristina » Blog Archive » Blown-eyes — May 3, 2007 @ 10:44 am

  23. Aww, hell..they didn’t send ya no picture of a chain saw did they?

    Comment by GUYK — May 3, 2007 @ 2:39 pm

  24. Boots, Belts, and Billfolds man. Oh, very nice brief cases too.

    Comment by RedNeck — May 3, 2007 @ 8:58 pm

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