The Service Department, Yet Again.
This morning I proceeded to the Dealer’s Service Department in order to obtain regular preventative maintenance on the Big, Fat, Black Capitalist Car. I’m no stranger to the place, having previously written about my visits here, here and here.
What I will share with you are literally scratchpad notes I made while sitting in the waiting room. The thoughts may be disjointed, but that’s just way it is.
Dammit! The television is on. I brought a book, and there are magazines on a coffee table, but nobody reads. Everyone sits and stares at the goddamned television. Is it possible for people to survive thirty minutes in a chair without staring into a goddamned television set? Too loud and too distracting to read. I took Mrs. Parkway’s car for service, and that dealer offers a “Quiet Room.†The availability of a “Quiet Room†may well be dispositive with respect to my next choice in vehicles.
Ack! MSNBC is on. Is this more or less annoying than, say, Regis or Judge Somethingorother? Tough call. They’re all right up there with a root canal.
Big, big, big MSNBC story: Former McCain staffers dish dirt on Sarah Palin! Perfect story for MSNBC. They get to continue to shit on Sarah Palin, but lay the blame on McCain people. BONUS! They get to say what shits the McCain people are. Damned near spit out my complimentary lousy coffee.
Ah, the subject now is Mr. Obama’s pick of Rahm Emmanuel, a former Clintonista and a known super-partisan hit man as Whitehouse Chief of Staff (Reach across the aisle, my arse). The host wonders aloud (strictly for rhetorical effect), “Critics are asking whether this is consistent with President-Elect Obama’s promise of a different kind of administration, a more inclusive administration [blah blah]?â€
The question is answered by a parade of peeps, all justifying why Rahm Emmanuel is a solid choice. The Grand Marshall of the Parade was Hillary Clinton, who gushed about what a fine fellow Rahm Emmanuel is. I wonder if, by saying that, she is doing a favor for Obama or her old pal Rahm. As my Constitutional Law professor used to say, “To ahsk the question is to ahnswer it.â€
The host (damned if I know who he is) announces that Barack Obama will give his first press conference later today. He continues, “MSNBC’s Chris Matthews will bring it to you.†Chris Matthews ought to be required to wear a slobber cup on his face when he talks about Obama. He’s beyond disgusting.
Notable Commercial Break: I don’t know whether you get to see the New York Times ads for the “Weekender†edition of the paper. Apparently, you can subscribe to the paper and only receive it on the weekends. I wouldn’t know, because I would sooner light money on fire than pay to read the New York Times. Anyway, the twenty-something, snot-nosey elitist pukey, yuppie woman smiles and says, “There’s the week, the weekend and then there’s The Weekender.†This is followed by a series or Upper West Side twenty-something racially diverse turds talking about how swell it is to get “THE PAPER†on the weekends, the subliminal message being that if you don’t read the New York Times, you must be some kind of mental defective. Every time I see it, I have a hard time not throwing something at the TV. (I guess you had to be there.)
Holy shit! Breaking news! Beyoncé will attend the inauguration! I had awakened Tuesday night worrying about whether Beyoncé would be on the case for the inauguration.
“Sir your car is ready.â€
Free at last.
Heh.
I was subjected to choosing either People Magazine or watching CSI in the waiting room today.
Nothing near so pleasant as a car servicing, however. Damn mammograms!
Comment by Joan of Argghh! — November 7, 2008 @ 8:56 pm
Having just found your blog about a month ago, I just read the previous service department posts after reading this one. A lot of comedy gold there, though you suffered mightily to bring it to us. Could be your last visit to the service department as our beloved capitalist cars give way to socialist bicycles.
Comment by Ernie Nilsen — November 7, 2008 @ 11:05 pm
re: NYT advertising… I feel the same way as you do. I must be quite the knuckle-dragger for not reading the NY Times! Garsh!
Comment by Mike R. — November 7, 2008 @ 11:07 pm
Ohmigod, JIM! I was absolutely CRYING — tears streaming down my face, convulsing — reading this.
Comment by Erica — November 8, 2008 @ 3:07 am
Bravo, sir.
Chris Mathews oughta wear a slobber cup…that’s fantastic…
Comment by Tommy — November 8, 2008 @ 4:16 am
Hysterical, and yet I’m so sad for you. Heh.
FYI, I’ve started demanding a ride home in the “courtesy van” right away. As soon as I give them the keys. TAKE ME HOME I HAVE VERY IMPORTANT WORK TO DO RIGHT NOW. Then they have to call me and come pick me up when my car is done. The dealer never bothered to mention this option the first couple years.
But now I refuse to sit in the Waiting Room with the TV and the noisy idiots. You pay that kinda money for a BFBCC, you should demand a ride home immediately as well.
I know, who asked me? No one, that’s who.
Comment by dogette — November 8, 2008 @ 9:53 am
BAWAHAHAHAHAHA Happiness is a sharp chain saw at the dim-a-crit convention
By the way, I read the NY Times because of the advise of that ancient China man general..he allowed if ya wanted to win you had to know what the enemy was thinking and doing..
Comment by GUYK — November 8, 2008 @ 12:18 pm
Jimbo, if you can’t get a ride home in the Courtesy Van, get yourself one of those TV-B-Gone gizmos, and just turn the farookin’ thing off.
Comment by DMerriman — November 8, 2008 @ 12:52 pm
I’d be asking if I could change the channel to Sports Center. LOL although I believe Dogette has the best solution.
If channel changing is not an option and they won’t take you home – then buy thee an ipod (small nanos are not that expensive) and some noise canceling headphones. Put some excellent music on it and then you can read without being bothered by the television. Heh.
Comment by Teresa — November 8, 2008 @ 12:56 pm
What, no farm futures report over there?
Regional differences, I guess.
Comment by Jerry — November 8, 2008 @ 9:13 pm
We subscribed to the weekend NYT for years until a couple of years ago I had it up to here and cancelled the subscription.
Or so I thought.
They must have been needing to inflate the number of subscribers, since they continued to deliver it free of charge for three full months after I stopped paying.
Comment by Fausta — November 10, 2008 @ 6:34 pm
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